Goals are simple:  What do you want done? What’s stopping you? What will you do about it?

One of my goals is to be a better caregiver. Although visiting healthcare attendants have assured me that I’m doing fine, I know that is not totally accurate. Have a messed up medications? Have I been less than attentive? Have I been impatient? Have I been “not-funny” too often?

At least I can increase my efforts as a caregiver. Then it will better compare to your noble efforts which surpass mine by magnitudes.

Dearest Vicki, whenever I feel that I may have overstretched my limits, I only have to think of you. My heart breaks for you but at the same time your bravery and your willingness to help others in any way you can makes me stiffen up my chin, do what I can, and accept that I cannot go forward (but maybe tomorrow I can).  My MS seems very minimal to yours, and some folks don't understand why I did not keep working outside the home.  Some just don't get it.  That is okay, they will eventually.  Thus my first goal: Try to do a little more with my home business of making aromatherapy care products at lower prices so folks like us can afford them and to devote a little time to envisioning and making a new gemstone therapy necklace or bracelet for my other home business.  My second goal: Although I cannot drive outside our little town (after about 20 minutes my legs rebel and won't let me drive lawfully anymore) I have volunteered with the University of Washington Medical Research to participate in programs/surveys regarding pain, fatigue, cognition, etc in folks with MS.  I am into my third year now and am presently doing a wonderful program Taking Charge of My MS, which covers the very thing we are discussing now.  All anyone has to do is open the conversation door a teeny bit and I am in there trying to educate others about MS, the importance of research, and a small pitch about giving to MS.  At the end of the year, most of my proceeds from my businesses will  be donated to MS.

My third goal: do the best I can to maintain a clean and healthy home for my husband and myself. The urge to just let it go is very strong sometimes and I do have to push myself to just put dishes in the dishwasher. A constant battle as I have three very messy cats who love to play and wreak havoc!  Not as bad as having toddlers mind you, but it does seem kind of like my kids when they were young. My fourth goal: try to go a little bit longer without all those meds. I am trying to wean myself off some of the narcotics and have been successful with one of them so far. My doctor is pleased as he worries about me on the heavy duty pain meds. No worries though, I am doing OK, taking my time and being very careful.  My fifth goal: to watch my temper and impatience. This is very hard! lol

Goals are important, I think and I am glad you have brought up the question.  Without setting goals for ourselves, we would probably just give in to that urge to let things go, who cares, that sort of thing.  We need to fight to stay as 'normal' as possible, to make changes that will help us with our goals, and accept that we really do need to set goals and fight for our lives, because no one else can. Only ourselves.  I am so lucky that I can still have my little businesses, that I have three wonderful cats that love me unconditionally and keep me company, that I have a wonderful supportive husband, and that I have a pretty darn good doctor. All my family live back east and they love me but are not able to support me the way most families can. I can't complain about my life at this time, even though there are times I do.

Vicki, I hope and pray that you are doing well. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God has a very wonderful creation in you, don't you doubt it for a second.

Love and Blessings,

Jan

Vicki, Health Guide

12/ 2/12 10:59am

hi Jan,
If you have the energy to go forward when you think of me, please do it. I rarely think of bravery as part of my life; rather, I think this is just part of living. You are right when you say some people just don't get it, and they may never get it. I continued working outside the home for years, and some people didn't get that either.

 

You certainly have not stopped working, because you are focusing on aromatherapy and possibly your gemstone therapy, and it looks like work to me. I like that you have kept the prices down so they are still affordable. You are so thoughtful.

 

When you drive, do you use hand controls? That helped me, but I still did not go too far.

 

And look at what you're doing with the University of Washington. I think that is great.

 

Now the third goal - keeping your house clean even though the cats seem to be working against you. I always thought my cat was more like a teenager than a toddler. He did what he wanted when he wanted, and only if he was in the mood. But he was always very sweet when we sat together. It is easier to keep up with your house as you go instead of waiting until it is a bigger job. Easy for me to say.

 

Your fourth goal - limiting your meds. That is admirable as long as you keep working with your doctor. I don't want you to take too many, but I do want you to take what you need. And then you have a fifth one, too? You want to do all this and keep your temper to yourself?  No wonder you are just2tired. I think you are the brave one, tackling all these goals.

 

I always love to hear from you, Jan, and I don't want you to worry about me.