MS was never part of the my life plan. Like most, my initial MS diagnosis was a long and bumpy road. When my MS became progressive, the road changed to a detour in uncharted territory with no end.
How can I face such a bleak future?
It seems to me that I have a choice between two basic options:
- I can live with Progressive MS and be sad, grieving for the life that is not to be. I can be angry because it's just not fair. With every new symptom, every hint of a potential new symptom, and each function that is harder or slower or just not there any more, I can become more grumpy and cranky. Or,
- I can live with Progressive MS and come to peace with it. I can learn to accept each new symptom and delight in things I am still able to do. I can find new ways to enjoy things I have always enjoyed and even find new things to appreciate. I can choose to make an effort to maintain a positive attitude and be as happy as I can be.
Notice that both of these choices still include Progressive MS. I do not like it, but I cannot eliminate it, and I can still choose to be happy.
"The really happy man is the one who can enjoy the scenery
even when he is taking a detour." ~ Joan Olsen from Fayetteville, Arkansas*
Some people accuse me of being a Pollyanna. Maybe. About a year ago I wrote an article addressing that thought. Explaining my Pollyanna attitude I wrote, "Pollyanna is often understood to be a naive optimist who just doesn't understand reality." I don't see her that way. She simply makes an effort to find the best part of every situation. I have a very clear picture of reality with Progressive MS. I wrote and researched the Progressive MS articles that paint such a dreary picture of my future. Realizing that my reality may find me totally dependent, immobile and in pain, I can take time to develop and appreciate my understanding friends and family. I concluded that article by saying: "It may be naive, but I prefer to think of it as facing reality with a smile."
I am a person with disabilities, but I am also a person with abilities. I am grateful for those abilities. I strive to have a positive attitude and make a positive contribution to those around me.
I am not alone facing an austere future with a positive attitude. My online friend Michael B. Gerber, also an MSer with Secondary Progressive says, "I am a happy man. I wake up feeling happy every day of my life. I lead an amazing and very active life, filled with family and friends."
How can a person who is living with pain and physical dysfunction be happy? It is important to know that happiness is not a state of constant glee; rather, it is marked by pleasure and cheerfulness.
".. .beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it,
you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance."
~ Anne Frank
Sometimes it is difficult to find the beauty in misfortune or the happiness in a desolate situation, but it can be done. Here are two sources that may help with the search.
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