Hello - it has been a while .. and while I was in FL trying to help my mom .. i got lost .. lost in her situation, caught up in her drama and realized that no matter what I do , or what I come up with , in the end she makes the ultimate decision ...
Things were pretty rough .. and I came back early, for my own sanity ... my brother here went down to finish up packing and aid in the physical stuff .. although we did do 6 large boxes ...
In passing my bro made mention , unbeknownst to me, about Mom using all her funds to purchase a place that was reasonable in price , but very high in HOA dues ... she will have no budget and start each month in the red , with no back up funds ... all three "boys" agreed to this , and as the only descending vote , and being the one there to go thru he tantrums , name calling and screaming ..
I helped and gave updates to the numbers of moving , arranged an agenda , and in the end gave my opinion that she step back and bank her funds .. wait out the shaky market , and then come back and find a place .. this of course meant she would be the one with her stuff in storage, for at least 3 months , and be here with me ..
Thinking that she would just help me finish my packing up, and helping me to figure out when I would be able to move down and co-ordinate a plan ... but no, sad to say , I am now a thing of the past .. but I am used to this behavior , and now understand my anger/depression issues all the better ...
Seems this is the behavior I have allowed to happen pretty much all my life .. and sure did a lot of praying and talking with Dad , and came to realize , when she adamently said no to this .. I was fooled again ...
So, as I always say , fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me .. but you will no longer receive the benefit of my abilities .. yes, I felt hurt, as I was going to move there to aid her, she was not willing to move here and help me finish what we started .. so I am in a osrt of limbo ...
With one brother leaving nasty messages on my machine , and the others knowing how I felt, and me knowing what they felt , I am now just walking away from this situation .. not the first time they did this , and this is the second bail out I did over the span of 6 years ...
So, now she gets a place with no room for me , and I am suppose to be happy , she will start the month in debt and I am suppose to be happy ... my home is 85% packed up in boxes and I am suppose to be happy ...
Oh , the promises come in to concentrate on me , but I know it will never be ... so here I am .. it's been 4 days and I am resting up .. should I say catching up , on rest, and pain relief is slowly but surely coming ...
The great news is that since my visit to the MS center, and getting on Baclofen and Neurontin ... I am feeling physically better , and so that is my focus ... it was advised I get help at the center for my cognitive skills and speech ... so that is my other focus ... I was to be quitting smoking down there , and so that will be another focus .. and finding a better environment than NM ... so that is also a focus ...
