Why is it so Difficult to tell

tellnhelen Living With It Mature African-American woman Recently had acuite exacerbation..I've had other episodes but none... Send Message Subscribe: tellnhelen

Sunday, August 16, 2009
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I am not that young anymore (at least not a spring chicken). From time to time I encounter people used to party with. Its really difficult to tell them what has happened to me. Its MS..Can't do like I used to..No more drinking and smoking...no more dancing....hell..even walking...

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The Great Divide
Lisa Emrich
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 01:49 AM

It's hard dealing with the losses and sometimes even harder to face with life has dealt us. It's interesting that you mentioned that you don't know the issues which your friends have faced. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing to be able to share your life, and allow them to share their life, since you've been in frequent touch?

I'm so lucky that I have a friend who I've know for almost 20 years (or maybe it has been 20, I don't know), but we do not get to see each other but rarely. Each time we do connect it has been like no time has passed, that is except this last time during the summer (which had been 2 years since I'd seen her).

We were both doing very different things than the last time we were together. And for the first time, there was a shift, a slight cassum (sp?). Maybe it was just me or maybe she felt it. Either way it reinforced with me that although life situations have changed, we can still be great friends, even if we don't spend time together.

Perhaps you can reach out to pull your former friends over the canyon to your side and allow each other to reconnect. Maybe you guys could even find a new way to "party" together, or simply enjoy the connection.

I don't know, I'm rambling. Probably because I don't have any great words of wisdom or encouragement, other than to say I'm listening and I hear you.

re: The Great Divide
tellnhelen
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 09:05 PM

Hey Lisa Thank you for your kind and understanding response. We live in the same general area and I think you may know what the (young) social scene was (is). Hence the fear but it has pretty muched passed now. I also agree that I should take the chance and reach out. I contacted my former running partner via FB. I told her about my MS and my current living situation/physical condition. I invited her to lunch with me. She gave a positive resonse and now I'm either going to her new house if she has a Labor Day cookout or we will have lunch in Bethesda after Labor Day. It's been almost 15 years( a whole life ago) and I am soooo excited. More good things to come. stay tuned and Thanks again HELEN

re: re: The Great Divide
lets dance again
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 12:12 AM

noticed you said you don't drink.anymore. ANy reason why?I drink socially , hav e had MS for 13 years and don't want to give that social aspect up too.

re: re: re: The Great Divide
tellnhelen
Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 12:09 AM

yes I do drink wine with a meal or socially...as you say can't give up everything...back in the day though, it was Remy Martin in the winter and Absolute in the summer..I had a great time getting to this place. I also read that MSers should limit their drinking... be careful..My balance prevents me from overdoing

re: re: The Great Divide
Lisa Emrich
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 02:14 PM

Helen,

Did you say Bethesda? For some reason I had the impression you were on the West Coast. Are you in the DC area instead? If so, so am I!! It's just nice knowing that someone else is in the area, if indeed you are.

re: re: re: The Great Divide
tellnhelen
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 11:49 PM

yep..I'm a native Washingtonian. I've lived and partyed here all my life except for college in Baltimore...for more than a few years I was a party person in DC, MD and VA including arlington & Fairfax. Used to play tennis at that big club in Northern VA and Happy Hour at the Renensiance. My social life was active, full and lots of fun. Once the MS started limiting my mobility (I was strickened with panic attacks) I opted for a more calm existence. It's OK but someimes I like to remember. Maybe we will meet someday!

Staying Connected
Sherry O
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 at 02:10 AM

It's very hard for people to understand what MS is and how it affects us. Supports are very important and you have a huge MS faily here. Just keep talking to us. Perhaps you could look up an old friend who you think is most likely, to listen and take the time to learn something about the disease. There is probably an activity that you both enjoy and will work with you unique MS symptomsperhaps a board game or cards. Relationships Take work which is hard to think anout on the bad days. My therapist suggested one activity a day, I' working on it and the days I do as I'm told, I don't feel as terrible later or the next. The key I found was to resign myself to the things i used ti do and enjoy finding new activities. It's a process, but worth it for ourselves.

Good Luck finding your new gift.

SherryO

Staying Connected
Sherry O
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 at 02:10 AM

It's very hard for people to understand what MS is and how it affects us. Supports are very important and you have a huge MS faily here. Just keep talking to us. Perhaps you could look up an old friend who you think is most likely, to listen and take the time to learn something about the disease. There is probably an activity that you both enjoy and will work with you unique MS symptomsperhaps a board game or cards. Relationships Take work which is hard to think anout on the bad days. My therapist suggested one activity a day, I' working on it and the days I do as I'm told, I don't feel as terrible later or the next. The key I found was to resign myself to the things i used ti do and enjoy finding new activities. It's a process, but worth it for ourselves.

Good Luck finding your new gift.

SherryO