Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I love making it a special occasion for family. My elderly parents look to me to be hostess, and my children look to me to keep up traditions. It's important to me too.
However, I'm learning to ask for help and to simplify steps. Instead of being a one-woman whirlwind, I break up the steps and get family more involved. My husband does the heavy lifting and cleanup. My daughter will help me decorate and shop. My son fills in any gaps. I assign parts of the menu out so everyone brings a key dish to the holiday meal. I've found that everyone is just waiting for me to ask for help and to assign them a task. It makes them feel more a part of the day. Why didn't I do this before?
Other things I do: Buy prepackaged items such as ready-made pies instead of insisting everything has to be made from scratch. I don't worry as much about making the house "sparkle" before everyone arrives -- I focus on basic things like cleaning the guest bathroom and main living areas where we will congregate. I set the table the night before so that's one less thing the next day. Oh, I never wander the stores trying to figure out what to buy people. I do not have the energy for that. Instead, I set a list of what each person is getting and where I'm buying it. I walk right in and buy it and move on. I park in handicapped spots without guilt -- if I don't monitor my energy, I can't make it through the day.
Finally, I trust that everyone loves me and that the most important thing is that we are all together.
This year, I even invited the neighbors over for Christmas dinner (oh boy, more people!). While my inner voice is screaming chaos, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm sure my recovery time will last well into January (not kidding about that). We all pick our battles though, right?
Julie,
I loved reading your post! Even though I don't formally celebrate Christmas, I feel like this is a shared season for us all. You certainly figured out how to best handle hosting the holiday at your house without totally sacrificing your health. Good job, girl! You are so right - everyone who loves you will be there to help. After all, it's the holiday spirit that is most important thing of all, and you have conveyed that spirit in all that you said. Good for you - and Merry Xmas.
Julie,
I loved reading your post! Even though I don't formally celebrate Christmas, I feel like this is a shared season for us all. You certainly figured out how to best handle hosting the holiday at your house without totally sacrificing your health. Good job, girl! You are so right - everyone who loves you will be there to help. After all, it's the holiday spirit that is most important thing of all, and you have conveyed that spirit in all that you said. Good for you - and Merry Xmas
Thanks Cathy:
I just want to add that I pick my battles and put effort out for things that matter to me. During holidays or events that aren't a big deal for us (or me), I beg off and save my energy. There are many, many things that I don't attend or do because the recovery time is not worth it. That's a personal decision for each person to make.
Laughter works better than a cocktail or nap. It reminds me to be joyful, not take things, chores, and all of the other hubub too seriously. I also find if I can laugh and maintain my sense of humor, others around me will also be happier. After all, this is really what we yearn for 365 anyway, isn't it? Thank you once again for touching my MS nerve with a great article!
Grateful
Grateful,
Your name really says it all! Thank you for reminding me of something I try to be all year through - grateful! It's an ironic thing, isn't it, to have MS yet be grateful? But there it is. Thinking of the glass half full always helps us live the best life we can. You seem to already be doing that; you are way "ahead of the game".
Thank you for what about my article. My life is about paying it forward. I am glad I heard back from someone who was touched by what I wrote. That means everything to me. Another thing I need to be grateful for!:)
Cheers -
Cathy
Hi Cathy,
I like your point about asking for help. The other side of that one is to learn to accept help. So often I hear "what can I do?" The trick is to have a suggestion ready. If your suggestions are prioritized, by the time people stop offering, all of the important things have been assigned. The rest can wait until next year.
You have seen this before - simplify. Why not? Simple is lovely and not stressful. Who could ask for amything more?
Here's another idea - sparkles. A very simple decoration is a gold and silver tinsel garland placed sparingly about the room. This is sparkly if placed around nice lighting (not too close to make a fire hazard).
This is a good question, especially this long before Christmas. Happy Holidays of all kinds.
Vicki,
Some great thoughts. And, yes, sparkles do help - for the soul, for great eye-candy, and for the cheer it brings everytime you look at them. I don't celebrate Christmas, but I do have poinsettias, beautiful candles and sparkly candle holders all around my house. It gives me great joy to look at them. Feng Shui and all of that - it is true that it warms the cockles of one's heart to see such festive decorations.
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Thanks for writing Cathy. It's helpful to take a moment to stop and reflect/plan before the madness kicks in. I have to say, that as a card carrying tribe member/ Hanukkah celebrator, I have always taken a passenger seat at the holidays. I've observed so many people prep for Christmas like an olympic sport. The adrenelin is awe inspiring. While I may not be the best person to provide that perfect example of how to make the holidays with MS easier (I don't entertain nor do I go to parties- I chill at home, near the fire, making s'mores with my peeps) I can say that all of my holiday shopping is done on line. Every single thing. Not having to deal with the chaos of the mall, the roads, the cranky peeps, is pricesless. That's all I got!
Thanks for writing this Q and making me think about S'mores! Yum!
I hope your holidays are stress-free and full of naps! ;)
Amy
I also celebrate Chanukah, but my son's birthday and my husband's birthday are 2 weeks apart, both in December. My dad's birthday is on Christmas (his name is Herbert so we call it Herbmas!)But although I celebrate Chanukah I am a sucker for the Christmas holiday - driving around looking at decorated houses, listening to Xmas music, watching holiday movies. This all makes me feel good and warm inside. It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34h Street. We build a fire, open a bottle of wine and turn off the lights to snuggle up and watch these. It's all part of my plan to de-stress over the holiday season. Ho! Ho! Ho! Of course some latkes and gelt help make the occasion even sweeter!:)