I went online to Social Security to find out about applying for disability. Funny thing, I really don't need disability. I think I am fine physically and able to work. I do struggle with fatigue, I don't know if I would be able to hold down a full-time job. I currently work-at-home part time. I went online to find about disability because of the insurance. I need insurance. I can't afford it out of pocket. My husband is in between jobs and it's most likely when he does start his new job and applies for insurance, which we probably won't be able to afford, it won't cover pre-existing conditions. I didn't fill out the form because #1 It was confusing to me #2 I don't think I will qualify.
I have other symptoms that really don't fall under the list of MS symptoms. I found a clinic in my area that will go by your income. I made an appointment. But you know what, I'm scared to go. Not because of what they will find, but because I feel that they will not take me seriously. I'm hoping the doctor that I see doesn't blame my concerns on MS. I have really had bad experiences with doctors, all my life. Not only with my health but with the health of my son. I don't trust them. I try to research my symptoms on the internet. I concluded that I had MS before I was diagnosed. But this time I can't figure out what the problem could be. I also tried to find information on MS and a link to other health issues. What I mean is: what are the percentages of MS patients getting other conditions because of their MS. How often does it occur? I couldn't find anything.
I'm starting to wonder if I am physcologically making myself sick by dwelling on what my body feels like. So, I have started telling myself in my mind, I am well, there is nothing wrong with me. And you know what? It isn't working. But it is making me feel better instead of depressed. I hate always being aware of the aches and pains in my body. I don't remember what it is like not to have them.
Well, I'll see what happens at my appointment in a couple of weeks. Hopefully the doctor wil take the time to show compassion and interest. I hate going to doctors. 
