I haven't posted on this website for a long time, basically because I have nothing to talk about and usually when I am not feeling the symptoms enough to bother me, I normally don't think about it. Lately I have been dealing with a lot of fatigue and wondering if it is my MS or is it me just being lazy. I feel like I have turned into a fat lazy slob. I don't clean up as much as I use to. I have no desire to cook, but I do. I want to just lay in my bed and sleep all day.
Now I know right now I am experiencing a form of MS fatigue because I have a low grade fever and usually they go hand and hand for me. But how do I get my head on straight to recognize the MS or laziness?
I hate this. I hate feeling lazy. I hate being disorganized. I hate the fact that I lose track of time easily or get distracted easily or lose focus easily or feeling like I don't know where to start anymore. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want my young kids to think it's ok for the house to be a mess. They take advantage of the fact that they can wear me down, by asking the same questions until they get there way or by having me repeat myself over and over again until I give up and just don't care anymore or forget or yell. I know this is a place I can vent and I am so grateful for it. I have no positive thoughts about MS, I try not to think about, my symptoms have just become a part of who I am but I don't know how to deal with this laziness thing.
I feel so bad