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Sunday, July, 20, 2008

What does MS "look like?"

by  Paula Burgess
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Paula Burgess

Paula Burgess

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Define the word.............. "Sick" OMG you dont look like you have anything wrong with you..especially MS" I am so tired of what people perceive someone with MS to HAVE to look like..Yes I do take very good care of myself, no I dont look "Sick" but what do they know.I just get dirty looks and people making underlying comments about my parking  in a handicap spot complete with placard of course. I've been yelled at, cursed at..given dirty looks and yes even stopped by police to "check" my placard to make sure it was "me" How embarrassing that was, as everyone in a very busy shopping center at Christmas time staring at me with contempt. Or even sometimes incredible hate stares. I drove a sports car up until last summer..constantly getting harrassed about where I parked my two seater.Comments were overheard many times..for instance "yeah right..she's handicapped.. driving THAT car..sure she is, hah!" Seriously..even though I've had the placard for over 10 years, after my diagnosis which was discovered during surgery for a spinal cord injury that almost left me paralyzed mind you!  I am sick and tired of getting dirty looks and comments from ignorant people who have'nt a clue what kind of pain someone could be in at times..whenever the mood of this lousy disease decides to strike back at us. I  since traded my beautiful car in for an suv..which by the way is more difficult to climb into for me at times than my sports car ever was! The color is also subdued as not to call attention to those ignorant so and so's who don't really give a rodents behind how you feel or what is even wrong with you, as long as they can voice their dirty opinions toward you. I swear sometimes it's because we can park a lot closer than they can, because they're too lazy to walk. I would give anything to be able to walk across an entire parking lot..having to to park far away from the front door of any establisment and be able to walk without pain! How's that one grab you? I have come close to telling people to mind their own business in so many words, but I was brought up to respect others unlike those people today who stick their noses where they don't belong. Once I had an elderly man shake his cane at me because I had pulled into a handicapped spot next to him, and I was the one that was embarrassed.  Another time a younger man screamed and swore repeatedly with very foul language at me that I had a nerve having a placard and that I didnt NEED IT"  He  disgustingly cursed at me because he "watched me walk just fine" across the parking lot.  How would he know my pain... the jerk! I was so shaken up, that I couldnt start the car for a few minutes as I sat there in shock trying to understand how anyone could say the terrible things that this stranger said to me!  I'm a  really nice person..why can't everyone be  non judgemental today.Talk about living in a fish bowl!!  I've had it..I won't put up with  crass behavior any longer from dumb people. If those people expended their energies getting involved to help, rather than degrade and ridicule, it would be a lot nicer out there for us.. I have many times just been so disgusted with the behavior of a lot of uneducated fools that I don't even want to drive anywhere. I recently joined a local gym in my town to try and strengthen my legs so the pain would be more bearable, which by the way is permanent now, and after a few days into my daily routine, one of the trainers came over to me to introduce herself and asked if I was the "one" with MS that they were all talking about in the office. Whatever did that mean I'm not sure, so rather than question her, I graciously told her that she was right. Her remarks were that I looked remarkedly well and that she was surprised that I had actually joined the gym. I thanked her but, still felt very inclined to be suspicious of her many questions. Maybe it was innocent on her part but I'm  so much more on guard today because of the negativities  that I have been shown so many times. After reading about the lack of accessability for a lot of handicapped people, I think something should be done about those who think they know everything there is to know with their opinionated nasty attitudes towards the world of an afflicted handicapped person too. Maybe they could be forced to donate some of their energies as a "fine" into finding a better response towards every negative jerk out there in our defense, for those of us who have been given a little harder course to travel through in our lives. Thank you for allowing me to vent once again. Paula B.

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