So, my mom, after being diagnosed in '81 by her eye doctor, is now in the hospital with pneumonia, is impacted and also has a UTI. She is barely responsive. I'm just 30, my brother is 27. He was born the year my mom was diagnosed. Dad was gone by the time he was three. We've watched my mom with progressive MS, get worse an worse year by year. Even with top doctors here in NYC all they could do was try to manage symptoms by prescribing more and more meds. She's on so many things, one being a Baclofen pump which she had implanted to releave some of the spasticity in her legs which had gotten to the point that her aides couldn't change her diaper and she'd howl when they had to position her. My mom, once a ballerina, a breast cancer survivor and now, I don't even know what to call it, has been through it all. Kept on smiling even through the pain not fully aware of her terrible, dibilitating disease or how advanced it had become. My dad, not close enough to see or care about what was going on or what his two kids were dealing with on a daily basis. I live with my mom and we have aides here on 12 hour shifts around the clock. Live with MS has been very hard for my mom and for us. There were days in high school we'd come home and see mom on the bathroom floor. She couldn't get up and had to wait for us to come home to lift her off the floor and somehow carry her back into bed. To those of you with MS, take care of yourself the best you can, get good doctors and have a support system. Don't rely just on one or two people. We know it's HARD for you. Life isn't fair, but make sure there are several people you can count on in times of need. We had to grow up so fast. We became the adults taking care of our mom. The finances of the house, legal stuff, making sure she had healthcare that would cover everything, opening mail, buying groceries, dropping off and picking up preseciptions, making doctor's appts. everything. I wish all of you the best of luck. As for me, this may be the end of this long, steep, rocky road for my mom. Written to honor the life of Judy L., strong, beautiful, mother.
Peace and strength,
-Anna
Anna, As I sit here and read your post with tears running down my face, but also I my heart swells with pride. How you and your brother have put your life on hold to care for the one that gave you life. Your mom is so blessed to have you guys in her life. So many children would have put mom away, and gone on their way, but you all did not. You all have done what you know in your hearts was right for that I know that your mom is gratful. I had a friend whose mother became very ill, she came to me with tears in her eyes one night. I hugged her and told her that while her mom was living that she had done all that she knew to help her mom and was there for her mom through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad times. When her mom was well, and when her mom was sick. She nodded her head and said that she was, then I said to her, then you should be at peace. She then smiled. Anna you and your brother have done right by your mom, you are and inspiration to all. Thank you so much for sharing you experience. Sherry/smomdukes
Anna,
You've touched my heart as well as the others who have read your loving tribute. Thank you and I'm so very confident that your mother is very proud of you and your brother. I just want to echo all of Sherry's eloquent words.
As I read this, I look over at my mother who is sleeping on the couch. That is her regular weekend activity, sleeping. I am 40 living with MS and RA; she is 59 living with Lupus and Limited Scleroderma. We are each patient and caregiver to each other. I will take to heart your recommendation to find help and accept help.
My thoughts are with you, your mother, and your brother. What a beautiful family you have described here with love abounding. Thank you.