Well written story, thank you for posting it. Your husband is doing a great job, and his approach and actions are inspring to me.

My wife has what seems to be a progressive form of MS. She has steadily declined since her diagnosis some 7 years ago. We have been married now for 23 years. I often feel depressed, especially after taking her to the hospital for her monthly injection. In addition to depression, I feel anger. I am not angry at her, but at the MS. Also, I feel guilty sometimes becuase I feel sad, yet she keeps on a brave face. What right do I have to be sad when she is hanging in there? Often it is difficult for me to "see" couples older than us "walking."  Why can't we be walking? Where is the fairness? 

I love her so much, and sometimes I feel like that is why this disease affects me so much. When I see her loose function, it makes me feel like it is happening to me. I feel her body is my body. We are that close. I realize I am not literally dealing with the physical difficulty and frustrations that she deals with, but emotionally I think I may hurt even more than her. Is that possible?

When I look at our beautiful wedding portrait - there we are two 20-something kids - I sometimes ask myself Why can't we grow old "normally"? Why must we deal with this? I wish I were stronger. I wish I could be more positive. Does God not realize I am not this strong? Yes, she is, but not me!

Deep breath. OK, one day at a time. One hour at a time. One moment at a time. It is true none of us really know what the future holds. So we must hold on to each other. Life is not walking, right? Life is love. I am fortunate to know true love. How do you know you know love? Perhaps when your heart breaks. When your eyes are misty. When you swallow hard and keep living the best you know how. Life is rich if you are able to make a connection. When I look into her eyes, she is still the 20-something girl I first met over 25 years ago. Wow, I thought then, and now, would she have me? Yes, was the answer then, and yes is the answer now. That connection will never die, even though our physical bodies change and grow old and disabled. That spark is the miracle of love, of a conneciton, of romance, all bundled up neatly in one package that is a gift for each of us.What more do we need? Tjhis is what loving couples should always remember. Do I always remember? No. Do I always even want to remember? No. But wehn I do remember, it is a blessing.

Yes, we are being asked to grow up and deal with it. No, we would rather not, we would rather remain oblivious to all this "reality."  But we find ourselves being asked to understand the harshness of life. Is it a curse or a gift? I am not sure, perhpas it is both, perhpas it is neither. My prayer is that our connection ill be enough to sustain us in this physical world. Everything else is really just bells and whistles, which ultimatley does not help the connection of true love.

God Bless all couples dealing with MS and other physical complications. And while the partner with the disease rightfully deserves and requires the primary attention and help, keep the caregiver in mind too.  In a true loving relationship, the caregiving partner bears deep emotional loss and confusion, because the deep connection they have is a two edged sword. It amplifies his/her feelings often beyond what may be warrented. We can do it. We will do it. All of you hang in there and pray for us, we will do the same for you.