MS: Work with it, around it, and through it

Hi Mandy---

Boy, what you're saying really hits home.  I have been in a state of pause for about 3 years, since my first really debilitating attack.  I was working part-time doing something I loved (library work), and I got laid off because I could not make it in to work regularly.  My body was not cooperating and I kept saying to everyone, "I'm only 34! What am I supposed to do for self-purpose?"  I was starting a master's program in library science and had to stop. 

Since then, I've tried to get out again part-time at the library and this time I ended it, seeing the same thing happening to me again.  So now I'm in a state of confusion, because some days (like today) I feel normal and ready for work.  But other days I am a tired, tingly mess until 2 pm.  I recently won my disability case (after 2 1/2 years), but oddly it makes me feel old and a bit useless.  I got admitted to another online master's program for library science, but now I'm wondering if I should pursue it, since I don't know how I will be in the future.  Will I work outside the home again? 

Writing has been one of my biggest passions for years.  I'm glad that I have it, too, and doors are opening up for me in the local magazine area.  But I still ponder about being a "professional volunteer" at the age of 37. It's all so very confusing.

Thanks for posting this, because it makes me feel less like an MS mutant!

Jen @MSfriend

I agree with you.  MS is not the end of the world.  Everyone will have to re-define themselves at some point in their life.  It can be exciting to disover new talents and desires that you may not have known you had.  I discovered my writing following the diagnosis of autism for my youngest son.  This led me to become a published writer.