Your posts are always so well thought out and interesting, thanks. This post tackles a difficult and important topic and you have articulated so well an issue that continues to confound many of us. If I am a realist I get lectured about needing to be positive, if I am positive people think I am all better. That necessary balance you write about is not only an internal need, but one that can help our loved ones understand that our lives are not one dimensional, no one's life is.
Thanks for once more telling it like it is.
Thanks for the awesome lesson. I wish more people have access to your post. They could learn so much.
I've always found that people are great with sage advice about positive thinking until they experience one of life's tragedies. Then, when they find themselves on someone else's shoes, their old words echo hollow.
I don't have MS but I'm married to a woman who suffered polio as a child and has mobility problems. I've always been patient when we go out in public. And, I can intellectualize how hard things are for her. But, I never could understand emotionally how difficult her life can be. I found out the hard way how difficult her life is.
I had an ankle surgery that put me in a cast and crutches for six weeks. My parking lot at work is a little over 1/2 mile from my building. There is a bus that takes us the last half of the distance if you don't want to walk or the weather is bad. However, the bus does not run on weekends and I had to crutch along the entire distance. I was drenched in sweat and exhausted at the end. One day, the elevators were inoperable due to a faulty fire alarm. I walked up four flights of stairs on my crutches. I learned very quickly to appreciate the difficulty that others experience on a daily basis and often for life. I can not imagine a life time of hardship. I knew that there was an end to my troubles. So many other people are not so fortunate.
My co-workers had no clue as to my struggles just to get into work. Just like I had no clue how hard it is for others to get through life's struggles - no matter the disease or infirmity. I too was given words of encouragement - "Don't worry, this will end soon." "Hey, a least you'll get in shape, think positive." I hated to hear these. But, I also learned to not give these same words to others who struggle.
Apology unnecessary. We've all done that at some point -- I've got some pretty twitchy fingers sometimes, and I'm prone to repeatedly hitting buttons! Keeps life interesting.
Glad you related to the post. Feel free to send the link to anyone you feel would benefit from reading it!
You are in the very interesting position of seeing two sides to every story, both as a caregiver/spouse and as one who has had physical challenges, so you have a great perspective.
The "positive attitude" issue never seems to go away. It's one of those "damned if you do and damned if you don't" things. Too much positive attitude and folks accuse you of being a flake. Not enough, and maybe it's your own fault that you are not as healthy as you could be.
Thanks so much for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. Hope to see you around more.
Oh -- you might be interested in checking out my husband's posts -- he gives the caregiver/spouse perspective here on Multiple Sclerosis Central.
Thanks for the awesome lesson. I wish more people have access to your post. They could learn so much.
I've always found that people are great with sage advice about positive thinking until they experience one of life's tragedies. Then, when they find themselves on someone else's shoes, their old words echo hollow.
I don't have MS but I'm married to a woman who suffered polio as a child and has mobility problems. I've always been patient when we go out in public. And, I can intellectualize how hard things are for her. But, I never could understand emotionally how difficult her life can be. I found out the hard way how difficult her life is.
I had an ankle surgery that put me in a cast and crutches for six weeks. My parking lot at work is a little over 1/2 mile from my building. There is a bus that takes us the last half of the distance if you don't want to walk or the weather is bad. However, the bus does not run on weekends and I had to crutch along the entire distance. I was drenched in sweat and exhausted at the end. One day, the elevators were inoperable due to a faulty fire alarm. I walked up four flights of stairs on my crutches. I learned very quickly to appreciate the difficulty that others experience on a daily basis and often for life. I can not imagine a life time of hardship. I knew that there was an end to my troubles. So many other people are not so fortunate.
My co-workers had no clue as to my struggles just to get into work. Just like I had no clue how hard it is for others to get through life's struggles - no matter the disease or infirmity. I too was given words of encouragement - "Don't worry, this will end soon." "Hey, a least you'll get in shape, think positive." I hated to hear these. But, I also learned to not give these same words to others who struggle.
Thanks for the awesome lesson. I wish more people have access to your post. They could learn so much.
I've always found that people are great with sage advice about positive thinking until they experience one of life's tragedies. Then, when they find themselves on someone else's shoes, their old words echo hollow.
I don't have MS but I'm married to a woman who suffered polio as a child and has mobility problems. I've always been patient when we go out in public. And, I can intellectualize how hard things are for her. But, I never could understand emotionally how difficult her life can be. I found out the hard way how difficult her life is.
I had an ankle surgery that put me in a cast and crutches for six weeks. My parking lot at work is a little over 1/2 mile from my building. There is a bus that takes us the last half of the distance if you don't want to walk or the weather is bad. However, the bus does not run on weekends and I had to crutch along the entire distance. I was drenched in sweat and exhausted at the end. One day, the elevators were inoperable due to a faulty fire alarm. I walked up four flights of stairs on my crutches. I learned very quickly to appreciate the difficulty that others experience on a daily basis and often for life. I can not imagine a life time of hardship. I knew that there was an end to my troubles. So many other people are not so fortunate.
My co-workers had no clue as to my struggles just to get into work. Just like I had no clue how hard it is for others to get through life's struggles - no matter the disease or infirmity. I too was given words of encouragement - "Don't worry, this will end soon." "Hey, a least you'll get in shape, think positive." I hated to hear these. But, I also learned to not give these same words to others who struggle.
Thanks for the awesome lesson. I wish more people have access to your post. They could learn so much.
I've always found that people are great with sage advice about positive thinking until they experience one of life's tragedies. Then, when they find themselves on someone else's shoes, their old words echo hollow.
I don't have MS but I'm married to a woman who suffered polio as a child and has mobility problems. I've always been patient when we go out in public. And, I can intellectualize how hard things are for her. But, I never could understand emotionally how difficult her life can be. I found out the hard way how difficult her life is.
I had an ankle surgery that put me in a cast and crutches for six weeks. My parking lot at work is a little over 1/2 mile from my building. There is a bus that takes us the last half of the distance if you don't want to walk or the weather is bad. However, the bus does not run on weekends and I had to crutch along the entire distance. I was drenched in sweat and exhausted at the end. One day, the elevators were inoperable due to a faulty fire alarm. I walked up four flights of stairs on my crutches. I learned very quickly to appreciate the difficulty that others experience on a daily basis and often for life. I can not imagine a life time of hardship. I knew that there was an end to my troubles. So many other people are not so fortunate.
My co-workers had no clue as to my struggles just to get into work. Just like I had no clue how hard it is for others to get through life's struggles - no matter the disease or infirmity. I too was given words of encouragement - "Don't worry, this will end soon." "Hey, a least you'll get in shape, think positive." I hated to hear these. But, I also learned to not give these same words to others who struggle.
Thanks for the awesome lesson. I wish more people have access to your post. They could learn so much.
I've always found that people are great with sage advice about positive thinking until they experience one of life's tragedies. Then, when they find themselves on someone else's shoes, their old words echo hollow.
I don't have MS but I'm married to a woman who suffered polio as a child and has mobility problems. I've always been patient when we go out in public. And, I can intellectualize how hard things are for her. But, I never could understand emotionally how difficult her life can be. I found out the hard way how difficult her life is.
I had an ankle surgery that put me in a cast and crutches for six weeks. My parking lot at work is a little over 1/2 mile from my building. There is a bus that takes us the last half of the distance if you don't want to walk or the weather is bad. However, the bus does not run on weekends and I had to crutch along the entire distance. I was drenched in sweat and exhausted at the end. One day, the elevators were inoperable due to a faulty fire alarm. I walked up four flights of stairs on my crutches. I learned very quickly to appreciate the difficulty that others experience on a daily basis and often for life. I can not imagine a life time of hardship. I knew that there was an end to my troubles. So many other people are not so fortunate.
My co-workers had no clue as to my struggles just to get into work. Just like I had no clue how hard it is for others to get through life's struggles - no matter the disease or infirmity. I too was given words of encouragement - "Don't worry, this will end soon." "Hey, a least you'll get in shape, think positive." I hated to hear these. But, I also learned to not give these same words to others who struggle.
Being realistic while positive is the best medicine for a happy creative life.
That said, I believe we can create almost anything we desire in our lives through our thoughts. We must believe them truly however. Optimism is believing what you know aint so. Which means we do not believe on some level.
We can be positive in almost any arena however, as there is always a bright side.
I have written more on this topic if you care to pursue or dialog further at:
http://choose.ws/2009/06/11/allowing/positive-realism/yucel/
Yours in peace,
Yucel
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I call myself the optimistic cynic. I am a positive thinker and also cynical that the positivism will keep MS at bay. As a matter of fact I know that simple optimism doesn't work at keeping me from relapses. I also know that my optimism helps to keep positive people around me, and sometimes I need those people to prop me up during bad times. As you say, and as Prof. Paush said, it's a matter of balance.
Shauna
* Optimistic Cynic
* Optimistic Realist
* Pessimistic Optimist
Sounds like I'm not the only one doing the balancing act!
Thanks, Shauna, for putting in your two cents on this topic that seems to have a life force all its own.