I've got a case of the wonders. Multiple sclerosis is an elusive force, but with a powerful impact on daily living, it is rife with unknowns.
... if, when I'm doing particularly well, people think I'm faking it at other times. In their shoes, what might I think?
... if, when I think I'm hiding my symptoms, I'm only fooling myself. For that matter, I wonder why I try to hide my symptoms.
... if some of my “issues” have more to do with the process of aging (!) rather than the oft-blamed MS. Since my first major attacks and my diagnosis came in my early forties, things were bound to change anyway. I have relapsing/remitting MS, but I never get back to baseline anymore. Then again, I can't really say what baseline is. Is it how I felt at 42... 45... 48? The forties are a decade of change, confusing my personal analysis of where I stand. I just consider it baseline if I can walk without a cane.
... if some of the weird but innocuous things that happened to me decades ago were early warning signs of MS. Just curious.
... if my improved physical state of late is the calm before the storm.
... why it's actually much harder to stand in place than it is to walk, even at a snail's pace.
... why I feel jealous when people talk about their medical problems and don't have to worry about their insurance coverage. I should be happy for them and leave it at that.
... why I get tense when someone complains about a $25.00 co-pay.
... why I want to explode when I hear that the “health care crisis” is due to poor personal choices. All right, I don't wonder why I want to explode. This one is justified.
... why I feel guilty about MS, as nonsensical as that is.
... why even total strangers feel they know more about me and my MS than I do. Awfully presumptuous, don't you think?
... when the cause of MS will be known for certain.
... when there will be one definitive test to diagnose MS.
... when non-injectable medications will become available.
... when generic medications will make an appearance.
... what the new administration/congress will do to improve access to health care coverage for the millions of people who are falling between the cracks. There is so much work to be done on this front. As part of the overall economic problem facing our population, affordable and available health care must be a priority.
What do you wonder?
Published On: December 24, 2008