I Won't Dance... Don't Ask Me!

You've done it again, Mandy.  You have put into words what I am sure many of us have felt.  Whether it is dancing, or taking a walk to the park, or whatever it is that someone else thinks you should do it takes strength to stand up for yourself and say, "NO, I won't do that. NO, I can't do that."  Isn't it amazing how some people think they know what is best for you, even after you tell them they are wrong. 

I used to love to dance and there are still times I will go on the dance floor at a family wedding, either in my wheelchair or with my walker, depending, and bop with the music, but there is no way I can move my feet around; I become a stationary goddess on the dance floor. 

Three years ago I danced a very important dance. After walking my daughter down the aisle using only one crutch so we could link arms, I danced "Wind Beneath My Wings" with her, this time using no assistive device, just my daughter's arms and the inner strength that I stored away for this magical day in our lives.  

And now I don't care if "I'm Never Gonna Dance Again..."

I grew up being a competition swimmer from the time I was 5 until I was about 18. I learned the proper way to swim the strokes for maximum speed and efficiency with my body & the discipline that it took to take it on as a sport. After my first MS episode, when I was 18 and 3 days after my high school graduation, I definately stopped swimming religiously like I was training for competition. After that episode I had become numb on the entire right hand side of my body and could not bring myself to even get back in the water even though it was reccomended by health professionals to do so.Well I felt so different in the water because of the numbness, lack of coordination,  and fatigue made it feel so foreign to the point of just staying out of the water all rogether. 

Well, many years and episodes are between that time and now and I have gained enough weight and education for me to reconsider my stance on the whole swiimming and MS issue for me. I have chosen to make it my objective in 2009 to get back in the pool and make myself get acclamated again. I am casting off the old feelings about thie disease process in my case and starting over. My dad has a friend that has just installed an endless pool (small pool with a current that I can addjust to my level in it to swim against) I had swum in the same type  pool in a Physical Therapy clinic for rehabitation but it felt weird. When Betsy called and offered me the chance to swim again I just jumped on it. Don't worry I didn't really jump but thought about it. Although I never thought at one time that I would say this, I am excited about this opportunity to retrain my body and mind to do this type of rehabilitataion for myself.  Wish me luck!

I'm soooooo with you on this. My first (only?) fall happened when I was pulled by a good friend in Mykonos into a sirtaki circle. I held on to him tightly, but as the dance started moving faster and faster, well, you know the rest. After that I didn't get up to dance for years, except for close slows with my DH who holds me up and knows when I should stop.

Otherwise, I too have become a great chair-dancer. That's something I can do anywhere . Having really been a dancer until I couldn't, I sometimes get upset being forced to be in a place where everyone is dancing and the music really gets to me. Then I know it's time to say good night.

Maybe we can start a chair-dancing troupe !

Feel good and be happy.

PEACE -

Maris in Israel