I then asked him if he had any questions.
He did ask one, "So did we get the Netflix movies in the mail yet?"
I was almost relieved. My son would continue to do what he did best and that was to be a kid. And I would continue to be his mom. Nothing would or will ever change that.
I also made attempts to explain my MS to my youngest son who has more of a limited capacity to understand about my disease. For him, I presented things more concretely. I told him that I sometimes see a brain doctor and that I sometimes have to get special pictures of my brain. I showed him my MRI's and he seemed content with these explanations. I also told him that "Mommy sometimes has trouble walking so you have to slow down so I can keep up." This revelation never stops him though. He still has only two speeds: Fast and faster!
When I first got diagnosed with MS I remember going on-line and looking some videos and films about MS. One of the films I remember viewing showed how different families dealt with this disease. In one particular segment they showed a dad and his two sons. The sons were both very involved with their dad's illness and there was much discussion about what dad couldn't do anymore. There were some very emotional scenes where it seemed both dad and his boys were on the verge of crying. I compared this scene with my family interactions and it just seems a different world. It was like comparing a Life Time movie with...The Roseanne Show. Every family is different, every parent is different, and every child is different. And for that reason alone I cannot give you a handy dandy list of what to say to your child about your MS.
What I can tell you is this. Kids basically want to know two things. They want to know that you love them and they want to know that you will be there for them. The other stuff can be worked out in the details. You know your child the best. Be honest. Be straight forward. Don't give them too much information that they don't need or want. Just stick to the basics and they will ask you for more if they want it.
Just in case though, here are a couple of links to help you out should you need it. The first is an excellent article called, Telling Your Kids You Have MS by Lorna J. Moorhead.
The other link is The National MS Society's publication made just for children about MS called Keep S'myelin
What has been your experience in telling your children about your MS? How did they react? Was it difficult for you to talk about? Please share your stories here. I am eager to hear from you.
