I'd like to toss my quandary out to all you helpful folks who understand the strangeness MS brings into our lives. I've appreciated all the input you've given me over the last couple years that I've posted here. Having a community of ‘friends' is so meaningful and keeps me from feeling so isolated with this disease.
Ok, so here's my issue. My workplace is well aware that I have MS and they've been great about letting me reduce my hours to accommodate this. Lately, my nerve pain has gotten a bit out of control. I've been working with my neurologist on the right combo of medications to help, but it's been a little tricky. The medications will work great for a few weeks and then, wham!, I'm just miserable for a couple of weeks. I can't seem to figure out the trigger - heat, fatigue, emotional stress and so many other things come into play... but not all the time.
I'm telling you all this so that you understand I've been aggressively trying to solve this issue. I'm going out of my mind dealing with this constant zapping and pain! Obviously this is impacting me at work. I'm grumpy, quiet, lackluster and distracted. I know I'm unpleasant to be around. I've also gotten slower at getting work done, and my boss is really pushing me beyond what I can currently handle.
Yesterday, I left early because I couldn't sit up anymore. It didn't help that earlier, when my boss came over to ask me (again!) why a project wasn't done, I snapped at her. I am ashamed of myself!
Finally (!), here is my question to you: Should I tell her what I'm going through with the pain? Should I tell my close coworkers too (they already know I have MS)? I'm thinking that if I share this, they might be a little more understanding. On the other hand, it might just brand me even more as someone who is incapable of doing my job - and I'm worried about this. On the other hand (my third hand!), this pain cycle will calm down at some point so perhaps it's better to just wait it out.
How much detail is too much? Will non-MSers even ‘get it'? Your thoughts?
Wow Hi Julie, I am with you, no one loved working anyore than I did, but I had to know when to say When, and finaly after breaking my shoulder, I had to say "when". You do not have to go to those extremes but those where my extremes, falling! Unfourtantly MS does not get better with time, and neither will the pain, the meds will ony increase, and so will the effects from the meds, then it will be something else, I wish I could say it will all be all right, but deep down we both know what is what. I had to throw my towl in after fighting a good fight, my boss fought the fight with me, she did not want me to go, but it was a fight neither one of us could win, we tried. Have you applied for disability it aint so bad I know I had to do it, but regardless I hope it works our for you, and prove me wrong. Good luck!
sherry/smomdukes
I appreciate your input on this. It's given me something to think about. I've wavered so much on whether I need to quit but I always end up staying. It's hard when my symptoms aren't always there. If they were, it would be a no-brainer.
And, since my symptoms aren't always there, and I don't LOOK disabled, I doubt I would qualify as disabled.
I can so relate! I work still 3 days a week. Some days I do great and others i am miserable. I highly dought my coworkers and boss have any idea of what im talking about when I say I am in pain! If I were you though I would at least try to explain how you feel. They may not understand b/c we look fine and some days we are fine so they think we are fine. But i would at least try to make them understand. I explain it the best I can at work. I feel like I owe them an explanation when I get so grouchy and moody. I have been dealing with alot if pain and fatique the last couple weeks but I still hang in there. Usually by the time I get to the quitting point I have a good few days and change my mind.... Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Good luck!