Fog of depression rolling in....

Hi Pam,

The fact that you took the time to respond to my articullation of the recent bout of my life long battle with depression, has helped immensley.  From your recent comments, I can hear that you do understand and, it is because of peole like you, that when I've lost myself in the fog and blackhole, I am reminded of the vast number of prople who care and understand.  This means more than I can say.  Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.  I think the change un meds is starting to kick in.

Take care.  The optomist in me knows the fog will lift but, in the meantime, your support is greatly apreciated.

SherryO

Thanks for your heart felt thoughts.  I've said it before, I sometimes think we were twins separated at birth!  The MS aside, we have many other health concerns that we share, say depression! and deal with them in much the same way.  I actually spent most of today connecting with community people who can help or know people who can help get a "Bookbank" off the ground.  Looking for "free" appropriate space and, we should be good to go.  I will be meeting with the Mayor in regard to space.  I know John and, he will be looking for volunteers for his re-election bid in 2010; I have always helped and supported him in the past and, I'm hoping to get a favour now.  The addition to the meds seem to be starting to take effect.  I hope if this combination works, it will work for a long time.

I will soldier on and keeping hoping that I will find genuine happiness someday.

SherryO

Thank you Lisa,

Old habits die hard; never let people know how you feel because something may be required of them if they know.  Therefore, the masks are put on and the act continues!  It, sadly, becomes second nature.

I appreciate the safety of this site and, knowing you're allowed to be yourself, the sharing and caring of so many is truly an amazing gift that we give to each other.  For all of this I am grateful.

The HUGS were just what I needed.  In all the years that I worked with seniors, I rarely left a home without getting and giving lots of hugs.  I always felt it would be great to be paid in hugs, whenever you get one, there is no feeling like it!

Thanks, Lisa, you helped more than you know.

SherryO

Sorry I haven't responded in a timely fashion.  The reno's in our house are starting to drive me nuts!  I can't find anything, I'm tripping over all the clutter and, everything is piling up to the point that it is overwhelming.  Eventhough, this is being done to make my physical environment easier and safer, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!  If the depression wasn't an issue, the reno wouldn't be!

I then went over the top, on the weekend, yelling at my kids about things that in the big picture don't matter.  They, unfortunately, received the fallout from a conversation I had with my mother or rather listened to some terrible things she said which, is her usual behaviour with me.  I made a joke that my bra was falling off and, I thought she would appreciate that.  I've always been bustier than her and she would make comments about that, sometimes even jokinly.  Her comment, right out of left field, "are you still on that drug"?  I asked what drug was she referring to as I take alot.  She responded, "you know the one you were taking after your surgery".  I said, "do you mean the Percocet"?  She said, "yes".  I reminded her that my surgery was in March and I hadn't needed or used them in over 5 months and, what was she getting at?  She felt that since I wasn't as physically active as I once was, that I had lost a lot of weight in a short time.  She went on to say she watched a show where kids were taking drugs to lose weight.  I got very angry, asking her what would 1. make her think I would abuse drugs; 2.  if that even crossed her mind, she really didn't know me; 3.  I'm not a kid; 4. the weight I put on over 3 years ago, when taking Remron for depression, that I finally had lost was not done in a short time, nor was it done taking percocet or any drugs.  She didn't stop there.  She then said, " I hope you have thanked your husband for giving you the money to have the bathroom redone".  That was it!  I told her that my husband didn't give me the money, infact his mother gave us (and her other children) part of an inheritance because at 9 yrs. of age she didn't need it and, thought we could put it to good use.  Also, this reno had been planned for awhile and, we always talked about something this major and, did our share for most things.  I then hung up.  The epiphany she had when diagnosed in Feb. of colon cancer, that life was too short to worry about that, which, does not concern you or you have no control over was short lived.

When I get over the hurt. I will e-mail and call but, will not make the 4 hr. trip which, is physically exhausting & painful, to see someone who continually talks so disrespectfully to me.  There was a reason I left 30 years ago and, she and the rest of my dysfunctional family would be the biggest one!  She also said she & my brother felt I was putting them down when I talked, using such big words.  I will not apologize for my education or continuing to do so!  She made a choice to discontinue chemo because she didn't like the delays that occurred when here platelet count was low or the way it made her feel.  Although, I thought she should continue, I told her I respected her decision.  She told me she didn't care that I had an education in the science field, she would not put that N1H1 vaccine in her body.  All I said was that because she has cancer and her immune system was not in good shape and, she has a family who loves her and did not want her to take chances on becoming more unwell, I hoped she'd change her mind.  "I will not and, will stay in all winter if I have to" was her response.  I didn't bother to go into all the ways the virus could be spread.  I know she is angry about having cancer and if this conversation was a new behaviour, I could understand and let those hurtful words go.  This has been the norm between us for all my life and, I wish I knew what the reasons were and try to make it better.  I've tried, I know her behaviour is not something I can change; I can only change how I react.  I first left the situation and put 300 km's between us but, dispite my social service background, I was 45 yrs. old by the time I finally started to work on not reacting.  The saddest part is that there is only 18 yrs. between us; she just turned 69 and I, 51; at this time in our lives given our health issues and, the time we have lost; we should be closer but, I'm not sure if that will happen and, I feel very sad about that prospect.

I apologized to my children later for my behaviour.  They both had a funny comment, accepted my apology and told me they loved me.  They had alot of questions about Grandma but, I asked if we could have that conversation at another time.

Thanks to all who get through this novel for letting me vent.  Sherry, thank you for thinking of me.  The Minister at the church said that she would normally advise people to get help and deal with their depression before getting involved in anything else.  She told me that she knows getting involved and helping others is probably the best thing for me.  Please keep me in your prayers, I really could use them.

Love & hugs,

SherryO

Ruby I am so hapy for you, me on the other hand I am a chicken, but how do I go about getting this done, and is this procedure expensive?   SherryO  step back and breath...you seem to be under a lot of pressure.  But it will make you a stronger person.  I had a friend whose mother was somewhat like your mom.  I asked her, after her mom had passed, "did you do everything in your power to make her life good, and respect her while she was living, her anwser was yes, then all is well.  We do not know why we go through trials and tribulations, and it is not for us to question, just smile look to the Lord, and say "Thank You", and keep it moving.  We will understand it etter all by and by.

sherry/smomdukes

Hi momdukes, thanks for being happy for me it is appreciated, but I am not happy unless every person I come in touch with who have MS gives their all to beat this damned nuisance of an intruder.  

So I am rapt you are interested in the hair anlysis.

Below is an article on hair analysis and what it does.  The cost is $135.US this place is in Baltimore but they will send the kit, you send your hair sample back and they give a phone conversation regarding what you should do plus they will send you a printed report and graph showing your good and bad things that are happening in your body.

You can do it all from home.

Many years ago, 1985 to be exact, I had to send my hair to the USA for analysis, but now we have clinics in Australia.

This company also do the chelation if required or sell the products to cleanse the body of whatever?

Keep me posted

cheers

Ruby

Hair Analysis Should be an Essential Part of All Chelations

Many factors affect the absorption, distribution and excretion of both toxic heavy metals and essential minerals. Hair levels of toxic metals may give the most accurate indication of body toxic metal burden and overall exposure. Hair analysis is extremely cost effective and also gives an indication of total toxic metal load. This is important because one frequently finds exposure to several different toxic metals which would not be apparent from a single blood test. In addition to toxic metals, hair analysis can provide valuable data regarding essential trace minerals in the body. This can be extremely helpful in pinpointing nutritional levels. Doctor's Data Inc* utilizes the most up to date and accurate technology available. More information on Hair Analysis can be found at http://www.doctorsdata.com*

For optimal chelation results it is essential to:
1) accurately assess the need for chelation
2) establish a baseline measurement of the number, type and amount of toxic metals present prior to chelation
3) determine whether trace mineral metabolism is impaired
4) monitor the progress of the chelation.
Individuals differ vastly in their ability to excrete heavy metals, monitoring of the chelation process is essential since some persons, especially those with derangement of trace mineral metabolism, may require multiple cycles of chelation†.

Hair Analysis vs. Blood and Urine Analysis
Our intention was to find a biomarker that would give us the best indication of overall efficacy. We believe the best to be Total Toxic Metal Body Burden. Many other chelation products have published studies showing increases of a single toxic metal such as lead or mercury in urine and blood after being challenged by the chelator tested. However, measurements of metals in urine and blood provide an indication of only transient changes in metal levels. Urinary levels are a reflection of how much metal is being cleared from blood by the kidneys during a relatively brief interval (hours). Blood levels tend to be transient and within hours are cleared from blood and either excreted or deposited in various tissues.

Neither urine nor blood levels provide an indication of other pathways of excretion or of reduction of total body load. While an increased urinary level of lead or mercury provides an indication that a single toxic metal is being excreted, it does not provide data regarding how many other toxic metals are present or how much residual metal is left post- chelation. A recent study of DMSA challenge from Emory University in Atlanta revealed no correlation between past occupational exposure to mercury and mercury excretion before or after DMSA challenge.13 Furthermore, challenge studies incur a significant risk of serious side effects (see below) and also of kidney damage, particularly in older individuals. The best method for determining total toxic metal body burden would probably be some type of MRI spectroscopy. However, MRI for toxic metals has yet to be developed.

The most reliable and cost effective method commercially available, as well as the safest, is hair analysis by a quality laboratory. Hair analysis is very well documented and referenced with respect to measuring body burden of heavy metals such as Lead, Mercury, Cadmium, and Arsenic. The World Health Organization, the International Atomic Energy Agency, and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency CDC, NIH and Justice Dept. have all recommended hair analysis for determination of heavy metals. . The EPA stated in a report "…if hair samples are properly collected and cleaned, and analyzed by the best analytic methods, using standards and blanks as required, in a clean and reliable laboratory by experienced personnel, the data are reliable." (USEPA 600/4-79-049). ).

Hair analysis provides a vast amount of information regarding toxic and trace minerals which relate to health and nutrition, at a tiny fraction of the cost of other methods such as blood and urine testing, which only reflect recent, but not longer term toxic metal exposure. Just as the measurement of glycosylated hemoglobin (HbA1c} has been found to be a more accurate measure of average blood sugar levels than random blood glucose levels, toxic metal levels in hair provide a more accurate reflection of toxic metal accumulation in the body. Furthermore, a single hair sample provides information concerning levels of an entire spectrum of toxic metals. Hair analysis frequently reveals exposure to several different toxic metals, which would not be apparent from a single blood or urine test. Since our study attempts to determine the efficacy of our formulation as a broad-spectrum chelating agent, hair analysis was the only viable choice.

Why We Feel Hair Analysis is the Best Way to Quantify Toxic Metals & Monitor Chelation
Hair analysis provides a wealth of information regarding number, type and amount of toxic metals, levels of trace minerals and derangement of trace mineral metabolism, adrenal and thyroid function, fast vs slow oxidizers and indications of Vitamin D levels, and adequacy of sulfur reserves. The data are indicative of persistent issues (weeks to months) whereas blood levels of toxic metals are transient since they are cleared from the blood within hours and either deposited in tissues or excreted. Urinary levels are also transient since they reflect how much metal is being cleared from blood by the kidneys during a relatively brief period (hours). Neither blood nor urine levels provide an indication of other pathways of excretion or of reduction of body load.

The best technology for determining total toxic metal body burden would probably be some type of MRI spectroscopy. However, MRI for toxic metals is not available at this time. Challenge tests necessarily involve some risk, including risk of kidney damage, risk of toxic redistribution of mercury or lead, as well as a variable degree of oxidative stress and exacerbation of glutathione depletion. While an increased urinary level of mercury or lead provides an indication that a single toxic metal is being excreted, it does not provide data regarding how many other toxic metals are present or how much residual metal is left post chelation. Nor do challenge tests provide any indication of trace mineral derangement, which appears to be an indication that extended chelation is required. A recent study of DMSA challenge from Emory University in Atlanta revealed no correlation between past occupational exposure and mercury excretion before or after DMSA challenge. On the other hand, hair analysis is an accepted procedure with the EPA, ATSDR, WHO, CDC, NIH and the US Department of Justice. We use and recommend Doctor’s Data, Inc* for hair analysis because of their superior technology, extensive experience and high quality service†.

New Light Shed on Hair Analysis and Hidden Toxicities
Recent advances in the interpretation of hair analysis have greatly increased the accuracy and usefulness of hair analysis as a tool for determining the severity of metal toxicity. In the past, there has been an awareness that high levels of toxic metals in the body were frequently not manifested in hair samples causing a negative perception regarding the accuracy of hair analysis. However, in his book “Hair Test Interpretation: Finding Hidden Toxicities”, Andrew Hall Cutler, Ph.D., P.E* has demonstrated how heavy metals cause derangement of essential mineral metabolism resulting in impaired excretion of these toxic metals. Specific criteria for identifying this situation are presented allowing the correct interpretation of this condition. With effective chelation the derangements of essential mineral metabolism and toxic metal excretion are corrected so that toxic metal levels in hair are once again accurately represented. We highly recommend this 298 page book (available through Science Formulas® Inc. Online Store). Utilizing Cutler’s criteria*, we reviewed and reinterpreted over 400 hair analyses with stunning results, allowing us to clearly identify persons with significant metal accumulations and impaired toxic metal excretion†.

Why We Use Only Doctors Data* for Hair Analysis
Doctors Data Laboratory* was selected as our preferred testing laboratory due to its established quality controls and longstanding reputation with other government agencies including The World Health Organization, the International Atomic Energy Agency, EPA, ATSDR, CDC, NIH and Justice Dept.. Blood & Hair Elemental profiles are measured with ICP-Mass Spectroscopy, and reported back with established comparative reference ranges along with actual results. Doctor’s Data’s* reference ranges are established using the standardized protocol published by NCCLS. Reference ranges are determined using a comparative decision making process, utilizing Doctor’s Data’s* hundreds of thousands of patient data and an American healthy population study. Doctor’s Data* has scored consistently high on the CLIA mandated CAP, Le Centre de Toxicologie du Quebec, and New York Department of Health proficiency testing programs (PT), and performs interlaboratory comparisons with other labs that use ICP-MS such as Mayo Medical Labs.

Doctor’s Data* has comparable results to other laboratories using ICP-MS as demonstrated by our successful participation in the comparison program for hair analysis by ICP-MS offered by Le Centre de Toxicologie du Quebec. A summary of Doctor’s Data* proficiency testing program results is available upon request. In addition to PT, Doctor’s Data* has extensive Quality Control processes that ensure precision and reliability which include calibration verification and monitoring standards; preparation blanks; laboratory controls and reference materials (low, medium, and high controls); spiked samples and duplicate analyses. Doctor’s Data* uses a state-of-the-art laboratory clean room specially designed for trace element analysis, which includes metal-free walls, floors, and ceilings, ultra-pure water, and HEPA filtration systems.

Doctor’s Data* uses a modified version of the standardized sample preparation method published by the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA/RL/50, Vienna). This method consists of cutting the hair into .3cm pieces and mixing to obtain a representative sample, washing the hair three times with Triton X-100 to remove external contamination, and rinsing with acetone and de-ionized water twice. The sample is then digested using trace metal free nitric acid and temperature controlled microwave digestion. This method has been demonstrated to remove external contamination yet retain volatile elements that can be cooked off using other methods such as open beaker digestion. For more information on Doctor’s Data’s* method, see "Preparation of Hair for Measurement of Elements by Inductively Coupled-Mass Spectrometry (ICP-MS)", Biological Trace Element Research, Vol. 62, 1998

What You Get in Each Hair Analysis Kit
Collecting your hair sample is simple and convenient. You will get detailed collection instructions, sample collection bag, hair scale and a pre-addressed return envelope. Each analysis requires .25 grams of hair and tests for 16 potentially toxic heavy metals as well as 23 essential elements. The results of your Hair Analysis include a complementary phone interpretation with Alan Greenberg M.D.† to help you better understand the data.

How to Submit Your Hair Sample
1. Cut samples of the young hair at the back of the head at the neck area. If there is any concern about chemicals on your head hair, pubic hair samples are commonly submitted for analysis. Use stainless steel scissors and cut the hair as close to the scalp as possible. It is best if small amounts of hair are cut from 5 or 6 areas at the back of the head.

2. As each piece of hair is cut from the head, save only 1-inch (2.5 cm) of the hair closest to the scalp (new growth). Cut off and discard the rest. If your hair is too short to cut, pubic hair can be submitted, or thinning shears may be used to obtain the hair sample by placing them close to the scalp.

3. Collection of 0.25 grams of hair is a sufficient amount of hair to collect. This is approximately equal to a heaping tablespoon. Place the hair in the sample bag provided with the kit and seal. Indicate on the sample bag if the sample is head or pubic hair (send a sufficient amount of hair, more hair is better than not enough).

4. Fill out all information on the form included in your kit completely. Insert hair sample bag (with hair sample) and the completed information form into the pre-addressed envelope included, seal and mail with proper postage.

Hair Analysis Results
You will receive your results back in approximately 7-10 days. An electronic file will be sent to your email and/or a hardcopy will be sent to you or your doctor in the mail. You may now call 1-800-675-4568 to arrange a time for Alan Greenberg M.D. to interpret your results with you† or if you are doing this Hair Analysis under your practitioner's supervision you would then consult with them. This Hair Analysis tests for levels of 16 Heavy Metals and 23 Essential Minerals, Click here to see a Hair Analysis Sample Report. Science Formulas® Inc. highly recommends a Hair Analysis prior to our Chelorex® oral chelation protocol to provide a baseline and another Hair Analysis 30 days after your last Chelorex® dose (90th dose/ See separate sfi_chelorex_protocol_2007 flyer for more details).

Wow Ruby Thanks this is a lot of information, I am going to have to print this off and read it.  I have heard of this procedure.  Thanks for the information, and I will keep you posted!

sherry/smomdukes

Not a worry Momdukes, take all the time you want to read it..

you go girl!!..

Ruby

Wow Ruby Thanks this is a lot of information, I am going to have to print this off and read it.  I have heard of this procedure.  Thanks for the information, and I will keep you posted!

sherry/smomdukes

Thank you for the information.  At this time the MS is a walk in the park!  On the other hand, the depression I have battled for more than 40 yrs. (congenital on my father's side, he committed suicide at 42 yrs. of age) is at best a rain cloud that follows me everywhere, everyday; at its worst suicide is most prevalent in my thoughts.  How wonderful it would be to just lay down and quietly die.  The pain of depression would be lifted and, my family would not be subjected to a side of myself that I am not particularly poud of.

My mother on the other hand, has nothing to do with the MS except causing my symptoms to be worse from the grief she gives me over any innocuous comment.  Sometimes even saying that the weather is good today can bring a string of words from way out in left field!  I wish that she could see how she is pushing me and, the boys away with both hands, actually, more like a shove.  I do know I can't change her, only the way I react to her.  Thought I was getting the hang of finding excuses to get off the phone when she gets started!  Totally blindsided, again!, this week.  the additional meds have made a huge difference to my emotional issues and, as I have for at least 45 yrs., will find away to put her in a place that she is more manageable.

Warm regards,

Sherry O

Hi Sherry, firstly so glad MS is but a walk in the park, and it is exactly that compared to what your mother.

That is absolutely abhorent, what she is doing to you.

She is the one that should be on medication.  Silly lady, she is, brings you into her life and you give her grand children and she treats you like this.

Some how you have to get stronger. 

Not on doctors scripts though, cause you will end up on stronger and more dangerous meds to combat your depression, and they stuff your liver up..

I don't know if you realise but depression is the bodys way of showing anger and that is exactly your situation right now.

You firstly have to somehow fix the anger. 

Have you tried meditation, it works wonders.

Another thing to try would be some of the wonderful herbals you can get from  traditional chinese herbalists.  Also acupuncture.  Traditional chinese medicine does wonders for the bodys soul. 

Chinese medicine has been around for 2000 years western medicine drug companies produce new drugs every day cause they are still trying to find ways to heal people.

You say your dad committed suicide, was that because of your mother driving him insane maybe?? 

Don't answer the phone.  I have a mother-in-law like your mum and I have now wiped her out of my life.  My husband of 41 years knows what she has done to me so all is good.

I have avoided her phone calls for years, (I never talk to her now when she rings hubby),  I have no contact with her at all.  She sees her grandkids when she wants but thats nothing to do with me.  

I know that is my motherinlaw but its no different with you.

Anybody that upsets you whether its a mum or dad or bro or sis , you don't have to put up with it.

Think about it...why?????

And its not worth you saying what you did about suicide, then she has another win.

She is a bitch and doesn't deserve you as her daughter.  You are too patient and too caring to be her daughter.  .

Just don't talk to her unless you feel really strong.

I have the best mother, in fact she was probably the weaker one, she is 89yo now and still a lovely soft person..

I look forward to hearing from you, but this woman has to be out of your life, or you have to control her without anger..

Are you dependent on her in any way?? if not just go anywhere with your boys, and never get in touch with her.

Kind regards

Ruby