Twelve weeks ago I started losing my balance and could not wear my high-heeled shoes. This was a cause of great concern for me because ordinarily, I can run in high heels -- fast, really fast if I had to.  Then I started getting these awful muscel spasms.  I went to my doctor, who was quite concerned because I am a healthy person . . . I see this doctor once a year for annual check ups.  I presented in his office in tears, because I didn't know what was wrong with me and had nobody to help me.  I live alone.  I was terrified.  If I got sick, I did not think there was anyone who would take care of me. 

My doctor immediately sent me to a neurologist.  The Neurologist put me on Tianzidine and sent me for an MRI.  Meanwhile, I almost fall down crossing the street, I purchased a walking cane, the muscle spasms woke me up throughout the night and I continued to go to work exhausted and loopey from Tianzidine.  I have the MRI.  It took over an hour.  I lay perfectly still (easy to do on Tianzidine and since slight movement triggers a spasm -- you learn how to be still).  On a side note, I learned I'm not clostraphobic.  Ten days later, I'm told "your results are irregular, there's white matter on your spine, you'll need follow-up tests, brain MRI and Lumbar Puncture, you have probable MS."  What??!!???  No!  I'm healthy!  It's not in my family!  I have too many shoes!  I love shoes!  I don't have anybody to help me!  Who's going to take care of me? OMG!!!  I keep going to work.  (Side note:  A walking cane is an excellent tool for stopping elevator doors and pushing elevator buttons.) 

Eight weeks into this journey, follow-up tests revealed a diagnosis of RRMS.  Okay, it relaspes and remits???? Am I relapsing?  Okay, muscles spasms almost gone, only taking Tianzindine at bedtime -- no balance issues (although I feel like I'm wearing leg warmers and have tingling in my fingers).  Now am I remitting?  Neurologist puts me on Copaxone.  A shot a day for the rest of my life (or until there's a cure)???? A SHOT A DAY!!!!????  I hate needles!  Still going to work.  My boss stayed home because he had a science headache ((LOL)).

I go to get the Copaxone.  Pharmasist informs me meds costs $2100, need approval from insurance company.  Insurance company approves for 1 year.  I pay $51 for 90 day supply.  MRIs and diagnostics cost about $15 grand!!!  I paid $20 co-pay.  MY GOD!!! I have to work or the rest of my life to keep my insurance!  What does the uninsured do?

11 weeks in, TEVA sends nurse to the house to show me how to do the injections.  I do the auto injection.  Piece of cake . . . except it stings a little bit.  Just when I start to whine about it, it stops hurting.   I can do this . . . I have to do it.