uuuggghhh!!!

I'm not my normal happy self today...life really stinks sometimes and as much as I want to stay positive; I'm going to allow myself a little pity party.  It is bad enough going through this hell of Limbo; but to top it off are stupid people. How is it for MS patients or even Limbo patients; that we are CONSTANTLY having to say "I'm sorry, it is the MS" or having to remind people EVERY day that we can no longer do what we "ALWAYS" did...that we have MS.  We "look" normal but we aren't. I've even had someone roll their eyes because I said that I can't keep track of her rolling information in my head; that she needed to email me the information...the snotty response...uuuuugggghhh!!!  Where as before I became ill my patience with peoples insensativity would have been dealt with calmly; I nearly lost my temper...something I have never done.  My therapist has said that I might start having problems with my emotions...

On top of everything else my husband and I are divorcing...so, I have no shoulder to cry on (poor me-I hate that)... so...here I am; feeling completely alone; but knowing that I am not.  Feeling like a failure; but knowing that I am not.  Not really accepting what is happening to me and my life; but dealing with it nonetheless...

I'm full of "I used to be's; used to do's" and having to recognize my limitations where once I had none.  I was an agile athlete and dancer when I was young; I broke and trained horses and multi tasked to the inth!  I was the "go to"girl; the dependable one...now I'm a flake!  I wanted to be a doctor; but had children and am happy with that choice; but am sad that there is no way I can even try now.  

I feel like the woman at the well who spoke with Christ; only my number of husbands isn't as lengthy...but I've still failed...

Don't worry; this is "normal" life stress depressive pity party...I never stay down for more than a day or so.  I have been gifted with an iron will that God will not take back...(even if sometimes i want Him to).  

I pray for strength of heart for us all...thanks for listening!