Waiting on MRI reports

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Fri, October 02, 2009

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Well, after another bout of mri's; now i get to wait; praying for them to find the answers; praying that the lesions that they now believe are there; actually show themselves. What kind of sick and demented person am I to wish for such a thing? Understand, that I DO NOT WANT ANY OF THIS; but I can't keep up with the limbo anymore. I am deteriorating at a steady rate and things are going from bad to worse. After reading Lisa's posts on sexual dysfunction and numbness; I knew to inform my neuro of the newer changes; which prompted this most recent round of images. Perennial numbness is a big deal (I guess given my current state of pending divorce I should see the "good" in this); unfortunately, it has moved to my urethra and now I am having issues with leakage. I am only 41 years old and I am humiliated by this; but understand I am not alone. I just purchased panty liners; luckily it is not a huge amount at this point. I would appreciate any ideas on this. I am also having problems with controlling my emotional response to things; aka pseudobulbar effect. My 7 year old daughter was a little freaked out that I was crying while reading her book to her about a little girl and a pony. I kept thinking, how beautiful it was that other people cared about her getting a pony; which made me cry...I am NOT prone to this behavior; but since I am now aware of PE; it explains some laughter fits I had last summer.

Anyway, the most disturbing thing going on (as if the rest of it isn't enough) is my left arm and chest pain. I started having pain in the left part of my chest; it started with my left arm shoulder area and radiates down to my elbow and hand. My left pinky and ring finger go completely numb and stay that way most of the time. My elbow hurts most of the time and I can get my "funny bone bumped reaction" to happen just by running my finger over it. When I lay down; my left arm will buzz and I have to prop it on a pillow to try to stop it from hurting. I can't lay on my left side; because this exacerbates the problem and adds my head to the tingling. My heart is healthy; so that is not a problem. I am ready for some medication; I can't keep up with this much longer without some kind of help. I have two more tests before my doc tries the steroids; but I'm still really scared about it.

Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent and for being so kind with your responses. This place is all I have. I really need to find a live group as well; but no luck yet.

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Lisa Emrich

10/ 3/09 11:52pm

Holly,

I wish that I could snap my fingers and make all of this resolve for you. So sorry to hear that things have gotten worse lately, but maybe that will end up being good. Can't wait to hear what your MRI report says and what the neuro also says afterwards. Nobody wants this disease, but it is nice having a name for it.

Also, I'm really glad that you had read about numbness and sexual dysfunction. Just knowing what the possibilities are help us to be proactive in our own care. So glad that I insisted upon writing about that topic with our producer who wasn't so sure it was appropriate.

Just so that you know. I have numbness which travels down my arm to my 4th and 5th fingers. The numbness stems from the lesions in my neck between the C4 and C6 level. Curious to see if you have any changes on your MRI in that same general area.

Hang in there and come vent here ANYTIME you need!!

Eva l. DeNicola

10/ 6/09 11:53am

Holly,I hate to say this, but it's normal the wanting to know the result. One advice

from me is as soon as you know start MS meds ASAP. My doctor told me that I had quiet MS, however just 7 months,I became RRMS and the lesions are too many to count. It does not matter if there is only one . . . MS is MS. I'm just sharing with you what I went through if I come across too pushy I don't mean to. Iremember crying in the car just before entering my home I mean crying real hard.

In retrospect, what I found helpful was to see a therapist and now continue to see a pysch doctor. The diagnosis is like a death of a loved one, fear and uncertain of the future. The pain is overwhelming and it brought out depression, I had always a tendency of depression, but was never medicated. My mother was unfit and did not care for my brothers & me we became ward of the court, there was always that underlying depression.

That pain you described is all too familar, I see PT , Chiro( massage and electric therapy it's mild it's called a tens unit)& it does help me.

I have cervical radiolucpathy it's pain on the upper back & neck the pain shoots out to arms all that numbness pins and needles. I now have carpul tunnel and something about the elbow pain is what I'm experiencing, I may need surgery to correct it. please follow up with hand specialist or your doctor.

I was on cymbalta for depression and it help me with aches too, and it was amazing, but then i was hospitalized for bladder retention the most awful experience.

anyway I told my neuro doc about the leakage it was so embrassing, but I was lucky to see a great urologist, he taught me how to self cath and put me on detrol now i use ditropan, i now only use the latter when i take my avonex injection i only cath after that injection. remember kegels i do it almost daily. I don't need to wear liners anymore, but when you are not feeling well or have an exacerbation it will happen again.

i am now on Pristiq I love it, I'm going through alot of stress and if it was not for this med i don't think i could cope.

i'm sorry for the typos my hands are off today. I hope you feel better and remember

you are in for a ride, but something happens you get this strengh you didn't know you had, that is what happened to me.

god bless i hope you find relief soon.

Hollyk

10/ 6/09 5:37pm

Thanks Eva; we are working on the meds thing; but after they finish the blood work and spinal tap. This has been going on for over a few years and still nothing...at least they have seen some of the damage through some testing. I am glad to hear that you've found medication that is helping you; that can be a bit of a battle for some.

I try to live by the motto, as much as I hate it sometimes, "That which does not kill you makes you stronger." For me; God gives me strength.

Don't worry about spelling; I think that is one of the first things to go. Yeah for spell check! But that only works when it's available..

Waiting on MRI reports

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