Trying to live with "it"

I'm a 54 yr. old woman trying to live with MS. The first year I did fine, but then the second I got discouraged and impatient, and this third year I've been doing poorly. I try to be positive but there have been so many things this monster has taken away from me, I'm finding it harder to see the bright side. I sometimes want to go to a place where no one knows me and "exist". I hate to be so needy and feeling like such a burden. I've always been the caregiver, I've always done it all, and now it seems everything has been taken away. My doc has offered to give me meds for depression, but I refused, I hate taking medicine as it is so it's probs my fault. I just seem to be more annoyed with myself every day. As much as I try to focus on what I can do (which doesn't seem to be much) I go to do something and I'm quickly reminded about everything I can't do. I fall a lot and then I get even madder at myself for being so stupid and falling. I know there are people out there much worse than me and I feel for them, but this is me or it was me. So I guess I'm in a bad place. Does anyone every feel like this?