Dear My MS,

  • You and I have been together for more than two decades. I know you remember I had just turned 20 when we first met. I was a college student and just a kid for all intent and purposes. It was such a scary time- I didn’t know who you were and I felt so vulnerable. Of course 20+ years later… you are still scary because I never know what you are going to do next.


    The thing is, I’ve never been an adult without your initials tattooed on my brain. I never found out what my life choices would have been. My career path, my social life; even the fun stuff I would have liked to do- so many things weren't an option with you at my side.

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    And in some ways it might have been good meeting you when I was so young;  I didn’t have to give up any long-held passions. (The optimist in me) But you freaked me out. You had such a long list of terrible things you’ve done in previous relationships. How will you treat me? I often thought, “I’ll never tolerate that!” But the thing is MS, you have done some pretty awful things to me and I’ve coped with far more than I thought I could.


    And you know what? My successes (ie. finding a husband who didn’t care about MS, having an awesome baby girl and earning a Master’s Degree) are even sweeter, knowing that I did it all in spite of you. On top of all that, I write a blog that is very well received (I didn’t even know I could write!) and founded a non-profit dedicated to help others like me learn about our own version of MS, the way they want to. (


    Many people say “I have MS, but it doesn’t have me”. For me, I AM MS. I don’t know who I am without you. And when it comes down to it…I like the resilient, inspired, optimistic me that I’ve become while dealing with you. (And with a life mission, no less!)


    So while many times I hate you and pray there will be a time when you leave forever, I also know that I can handle whatever you throw my way. And I believe I have a very meaningful life because of you.


    Granted, I’m having an optimistic moment right now. If this had been on a different day, I might be furious and curse all that you are. I’m sure you understand!)



    Sincerely (and good riddance!)


Published On: February 13, 2011