What are we suppose to say, to people when they say you look good. you don't look sick. when your whole body hurts? How do you respond to that?
Nancy
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Q: How do we deal with people saying you don't look like you have ms? When inside You fill like hell.t
Answers (2)
6/ 3/08 2:50pm
This is a question we (with MS) all ask sooner or later. I think the answer depends on the situation.
Sometimes you may just want to let it go. It's not always necessary for other people to understand our struggles. And sometimes, they are simply making small talk and don't realize the impact of their statement. Most people don't mean any harm.
Sometimes we just have to take it as a compliment. We can, in fact, look good even though we feel awful.
If someone is truly interested, and you would like to educate them, you might want to give them some facts about MS. I did a post during MS Awareness Month called, "What Do We Want the World to Know?" that you may find helpful.
My post titled, "Hmmm... I Do Look Pretty Good!" addresses this issue and all the mixed feelings we have when we hear how good we look.
I hope that helps in some small way.
10/ 9/08 5:59pm
Hey Nancy
yeah this seems to be the standard thing people say to someone who has MS. When I first got diagnosed I searched for information on the web and one of the first things I found was a film about MS entitled, "But you look so good."
I am not sure what people are expecting us to look like...are we supposed to look like we are at death's door or what?
It is almost like a challenge to hear someone say this as though we have to prove we have MS as in "Care to see my lesions on my MRI?"
It is a personal decision at this point as to whether you want to take the time to educate the person about MS or whether to just state, "Yes I do look fabulous AND I also have Multiple Sclerosis."
Those of us with "invisible" diseases such as MS will always have to deal with such comments I suppose. It is a pain isn't it?
Thank you for your question.
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By Nancy Ackerley— Last Modified: 12/27/10, First Published: 06/03/08
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