Sunday, September 11, 2011 Cathy, Health Guide, asks

Q: Question of the Week - by Cathy Chester, Health Patient Expert

The Question of the Week is usually posted on Monday mornings. As I write this post, I thought it would be appropriate to post this week’s question earlier in order to honor the tenth anniversary of 9/11.

Like some of you, I remember 9/11 as if it happened yesterday. The sun was shining brightly and there was not a cloud in the sky. That day, I walked my 9 -year -old son to the bus stop and waited for him to safely take his seat on the bus. I walked back to my house, got into my car, and drove to a PTA meeting. What happened in the next hour would change our lives forever.

Prior to 9/11, I remember being annoyed at the media circus surrounding the recent disappearance of the Washington intern Chandra Levy, and the possibility of Representative Gary Condit’s (D-CA) involvement with her. NOTE: She was later found murdered, a suspect was found guilty, and Rep. Condit’s life was shattered forever. This tragic story would soon be relegated to the back pages of national newspapers.

On the morning of September 11, 2011 at 8:46 am, a plane hit the North Tower of The World Trade Center. Seventeen minutes later a second plane hit the South Tower. Back at my PTA meeting, a woman flew into the room screaming, “We’re being attacked!” I felt panic-stricken, and my first reaction (like other mothers at the meeting) was to take my son out of school and bring him home in case of an attack. I did just that. Next, I tried calling my brother who was doing business in Manhattan that day. The phone lines were down. Once at home, I watched the news reports in horror as the events of the day unfolded. All we could do was wait. A long, agonizing, horrific wait. I knew we had many commuters in our town and the surrounding towns who worked in New York City. We waited to hear who was safe and who was “missing”. As the week progressed, many stories unfolded - stories of people waking up late to get to work and realizing that missing their bus had saved their life. Stories of walking down endless amounts of stairs and escaping a fate their colleagues did not escape. Unclaimed cars left in Park-N-Rides. People walking across town and over the George Washington Bridge to get home. We later learned that New Jersey lost 746 people that day.

After that day, we all felt a devastating sense of loss, whether it was for a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, or someone else’s loved one. Our country’s innocence was gone and life would never be the same again.

The events of September 11, 2001 will, and should never be, forgotten. We will never forget the people who lost their precious lives that day. We will keep them in our hearts. We will pray for their loved ones and hope they may somehow heal, if even a little bit, to finally find the peace they so deserve.

My question of the week: How do you handle stress and your MS while experiencing grief, or an unexpected death? If you lived through 9/11, would you like to share your recollection of that day, and whether it affected your MS? Lastly, do you have any coping mechanisms that you use to handle great amounts of stress - spiritual, religious or otherwise? We’d love to hear your stories. It is within our HealthCentral community that we all should feel safe and cared for. May you all find inner peace. Let us all hope for a better tomorrow

Question of the Week by Cathy Chester - Health Patient Expert

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Answers (4)

Lisa Emrich, Health Guide

9/11/11 9:52pm

Hi Cathy,

That day started very quiet for me until my father called, "where's your mother?!" My response was - at work (duh). "Is she at the Pentagon today?" I don't know, why? This is when I turned on the TV shortly after 9:40-9:45 am. My mother walked through the front door around 10:20am. She had been in the Rosslyn office and didn't wait for the military to release the civilians. She sent her people home immediately.

I remember all of the "where is so-and-so?" questions which followed the Oklahoma City bombing on April 19, 1995. There's still a crack in the wall in my father's home from the impact of that blast. I had one cousin who worked in the Murrah building. She was going to be late to work because her son was fussy and perhaps getting sick. He would have been in the childcare center across the street. Another cousin had just entered the local highway after leaving the Marine recruitment center (in the Murrah building) where he worked parttime. Windows were blown out of a nearby office building when one uncle worked. It took several hours before all members of my extended family (lots of government employees) were accounted for. That day hits home.

I remember the fear in the surrounding areas of Washignton, DC, when the "DC sniper" was active. One of the latter shootings occurred in the parking lot of a local Home Depot where my mother had stopped to shop that day. That was freaky.

Then there was the April 19, 1993 tragedy in Waco, TX. I was living in Indiana at the time, but the Branch Davidian compound was not terribly far from where I lived in Waco during graduate school. That was the first time I felt indirectly attached to something tragic which had happened and reported on the national news. It was definitely not the last time.

Tragedy is everywhere. So it seems....at times.

Cathy, Health Guide

9/11/11 10:05pm

Yes, Lisa. Tragedy is everywhere. The attacks of the Twin Towers and the planes that hit Shanksville and the Pentagon were on American soil, and it woke us up to the realities of hatred, warfare and evil around the world. But, as you said, there have been other incidents on our soil such as the 1993 World Trade Center incident (which didn't awaken our consciousness as it should have),the DC sniper where we all held our breath, and the horrific Oklahoma bombings involving not only adults but those children who were supposed to be safe in their childcare center. Again, I remember them all so clearly, and I remember how frightened we, as Americans were, to find these events happening right here in our country. That is why I'd like to know what coping mechanisms, if any, someone with MS, or any anxiety or autoimmune disease, uses when tragedy strikes. Right now I am knitting a blanket, as that helps relax me and allows my thoughts to drift away from the harsh realities of the world. What works for you?

Amy Gurowitz, Health Guide

9/12/11 12:28pm

Thanks for getting me to a place to consider this. After listening to WNYC yesterday, I felt intimately connected to the World Trade Center attack. Hearing the words of so many survivors, rescuers the painful emotions that started on Sept 11, 2001 and continue through the decade that followed (and that follows). For me this decade is measure quite clearly on my daughter's birthday. Madeline was born just 16 days before the attack. While coping with a post-partum centered on MS progression and my ability to parent, my uncertain future had reached horrifying levels as we all mourned this enourmous loss.

During the week that followed, I found a coping mechanism that I continue to use every day since that horrible time.

I don't read or watch the news. More appropriately, I only read or listen to certain news sources. (NPR and the NewYorker.) It's easy for me to find control over what and how I learn. (hmmm... that sounds familiar!) I filter the information I feel I need to know, and turn off that which I don't need, or will be a source of extreme emotions.

It was never more evident than the week after the 11th. The New York Times cover page in full color showed images of people jumping from the towers. An image I may never be able to cope with. That was it. I feel that if it is very important, I will learn about it. (My husband serves as an excellent editor when it comes to that!) And while I may not know about the inappropriate behavior of Charlie Sheen, or the details about the bills that don't pass the house that should.. I find I'm less angry, less stressed and can use my energy on everything that is required to keep me moving forward.

I guess that is what PWMS talk about when they say that their diagnosis put everything in to a new perspective. Recognizing what we need to know, do, feel is more important when the resources are limited.

It's strengthened me immeasurably.

THanks for making me think of this Cathy~

Cathy, Health Guide

9/12/11 1:00pm

Thanks for your response, Amy. I think you've found your own way of a coping mechanism - and since it's working - that's great! These days it's difficult NOT to hear the news - this is the fast-paced information age where we are surrounded (and bombarded) with a lot of information in a little amount of time. Perhaps our parents had it better when they sat around their radio to hear Uncle Miltie and the latest news reports. I don't know. But there is great merit in your approach, and I applaud you wholeheartedly.

As I said in my bio, I always followed Dr. Andrew Weil and his advice, particularly relating to stress. He said from the very beginning that once in awhile we should go on a news fast. I am a news junkie (mostly politics) but once in awhile I go cold turkey without the news. It's a great "de-stress" method!

Kudos to you, Amy!

Vicki, Health Guide

9/16/11 9:12am

Hi Cathy,

This is a good question. MSers often face stressful situations, and in fact, coping strategies are useful probably on a daily basis.

One thing I do is start each day with deep breathing. I do not mean gasping for breath, but slowly breathing in, holding it for a few seconds, and then exhaling again slowly. My day begins relaxed.

As for 9/11, I would have definitely been deep breathing alot, and yes, my thoughts would have been spiritual. I probably would be ready to share my experiences by now, but the time needed between such a catastrophe and sharing experiences must differ for each person. I tend to share easily because as an MSer I think I would have liked to know.

My nephew is in the Air Force, stationed in Germany where the base asked for volunteers to tell where they were 10 years ago. My nephew said, “I was there.” He was actually in the Pentagon not too far from where the aircraft hit. They liked his story and it was subsequently printed in the Air Force Times, and he was interviewed for both French and German local TV shows. This is one of those days that everyone knows, and almost everyone remembers where they were.

I have not heard any stories from MSers, have you? I know there was an agency working with people with vision issues, and many of them were blind. They had a disaster plan and they practiced it, so all of them made it out of the building. They were also on a lower floor. I have not heard any stories from any of them either.

The last few weeks and brought up memories, but you added a perspective that is new. Thank you.

Cathy, Health Guide

9/16/11 12:19pm

Vicki,

Your nephew had quite an experience being in the Pentagon - his story is one that should always be told and I am glad the Air Force Times published it.

I'd love to know about the agency you were referring to about disaster plans for people with MS. It's something I've often thought of, and something we all need to address. If you come across the name please let us all know.

I've also thought that without my contact lenses (and I never carry my glasses with me) I'd be blind. Someone would have to be a hero and take my hand to guide me. Laser surgery has not been perfected enough for my vision (and the cost is something that is not in our budget). It's a scary thought to me......

marie

1/28/13 2:53pm

I have symptoms ,like tingling in hands & legs,fatigue,weakness in hand ,legs ,bowel problems, defficulty swalling,chronic pain & I use a wheelchair for long walks.

Q: Question of the Week - by Cathy Chester, Health Patient Expert

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