Monday, April 06, 2009 s asks

Q: I have MS and my husband is thinks I can just get over it, and gets mad at me. What do I do?

I have been married for 22 years and was diagnosed with MS. I have always been the "go to person in my family and my husband thinks I'm angry and that I don't have any ambition. He said I need to get a better attiude and take "better" care of myself. I'm tired, depressed, and I am taking care of my mom who has dementia, she needs my help and that isn't a problem. He said he doesn't know how to deal with all of this. What do I do?

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Answers (4)

Merely Me, Health Guide

4/ 7/09 3:23pm

Hi there

I agree with Momdukes...you certainly do have a lot on your plate right now.

How long ago were you diagnosed? I do agree with Momdukes as well that you need some support. Do you have any other family members or friends to rely upon?

Is it at all feasible for you to seek help from a counselor. You are dealing with so much. It probably would be good for you to have someone to talk to.

Have you contacted your local chapter of the national MS Society? Their number is:

1800-344-4867. They have been a great help to me in offering both education and support.

What may be helpful for both you and your husband is to join one of the local support groups for MS which you can also find through the national MS society. Your husband may not understand how this disease can affect you. It is not anything that you can just change your "attitude" and be well. MS not only can affect your movement but can also affect your energy levels and your mood.

I am hoping that you can get some type of support in the near future.

Please do let us know how things evolve. Thank you for sharing with us here today.

momdukes

4/ 7/09 8:44am

Wow "S" my heart and soul goes out to you. Your cup and plate runnith over, you need relief, and soon. I am not a doctor or any of those things but you need some relief. You are acustomed to being everything to everybody and there is nothing wrong with that. But now it is time for you to take care of You. You are not angry just tired. This is my opinion, and as they say opinions are like those little garbage holes at the base of our bodies You need a care taker to help you with your mom. That does not mean that you do not love her, but it will give you some "You" time. Then the time that you do spend with your mom will be quality time, you will apperiate it more, and so will mom. She cannot tell you, but she needs a break from you also. You will see your depression ease a little and life will begin to look a little bit better, and your husband will mellow out some. His problem is that he misses you, but he's a man and just does not know how to tell you without blowing his manhood. It' a manthing, go figure. I hope this makes you feel better. I can see you beginning to smile, believe me it will be all right, we have MS and the rules are it always is. Sherry/Smomdukes

Lisa Emrich, Health Guide

4/ 7/09 10:48pm

Hi S,

Welcome to HealthCentral. I agree with both MomDukes and MerelyMe. In addition to calling the National MS Society, you can read much of the material they have available right on their website. Here is their page designed for those who are Newly Diagnosed.

If you are Newly Diagnosed, there is much to learn and process. There is also much for your husband to learn and he may be hiding the fear and worry which he has for you. But you need support now. Call the NMSS.

jod

6/28/10 9:06am

Please read about the Lotus Sutra best English translation by Burton Watson. This Buddhism is called Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist, it is about the Mystic Law of Cause and Effect without time restrictions, it shows that there is a better way of living life. E-mail and I will send your information.

Q: I have MS and my husband is thinks I can just get over it, and gets mad at me. What do I do?

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