From the precise time of my MS diagnosis sme years ag, my grown daughter became exceedingly difficult to get along with and, our previously good mother-daughter relationship went out the window. To this day, our relationship has never recovered. Why would someone not feel empathy for a parent as opposed to hostility. This all greatly contributes to my heightened stress levels. Is this unusual? I would like to understand.
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Q: My grown daughter has never accepted my MS. Does anyone know why that would happen?
Answers (3)
5/ 6/08 5:13pm
I don't know why, but one guess is that she has fear. Fear of the unknown (MS), fear for her mother, fear for herself. Maybe she doesn't have a clear understanding of what MS is -- what it means for you -- what it means for her. Or she could be feeling resentment that she has, in some ways, lost her mother -- at least the mother she thought she knew.
Maybe she just needs some quiet time with you, where you can both get your feelings out on the table. Maybe she needs to take a look at some of the heartfelt postings on this site, which would let her in on another point of view.
As difficult as MS is for us who have it, it is equally difficult for the ones who love us, though it is in different ways.
5/ 6/08 11:38am
I don't know why this happens, but I had good friends I thought of as sisters, who have done the same thing. They've cut contact with me, almost like I'm contagious. It makes me sad. My daughter-in-law and my little granddaughters are the light of my life. I thank God everyday for them.
9/25/08 9:17am
You've received excellent advice from Mandy. Sometimes pulling away or masking emotions are ways to protect ourselves from emotions which are just too scary or painful to face. It's a natural coping mechanism.
It may be that she's fearful of losing you and turns that into anger of 'how dare you go and get MS.' It could be that she is angry that you aren't the same person you were before, but we all know that inside we truly are the same inside.
Perhaps the walls need to be broken down. It might take a lot of effort to get that to happen and it might be extremely stressful during the process. But it won't happen without open communication and without addressing all the unknowns and fears.
Good luck. I hope that you find an even deeper relationship with your daughter.
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By beachloverpj— Last Modified: 12/18/10, First Published: 05/06/08
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