Coping With Family After Weight Loss Surgery - My Bariatric Life

My Bariatric Life Health Guide

    Let me begin by making it clear that I love my family. When I say this I mean my whole family, not just my husband, my children, or my parents. I love my sibling, I love my grandparents, I love my aunts, my uncles, and my cousins. All of these people own a piece of my heart.

    I not only love my family, but I try my best to love them as they are and for whom they are. I understand that we all are flawed and that some are more flawed than others. I try to avoid keeping inventories on those that I love, and I try to remain patient and cheerful in the company of a few hyper-flawed family members.

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    Like all people, I have a family that includes the uncle who lacks tact, the aunt who “says what’s on her mind” with little mincing of words, the young cousin, nephew or niece whose curiosity supersedes social skills. It is what it is, and most of the time they mean well. So when they say things like “remember when you used to be a fat porker” or “how did you let yourself gain all that weight to begin with?” I remind myself to be grateful for my weight loss surgery and the great results I have had since that surgery.

    I’ll be reminding myself in overdrive pretty soon now that the holidays and the family affairs that accompany those holidays are near.

    Handling Inappropriate or Harsh Comments

    To be direct, occasionally some people can be rude and that includes our family members. I have already cited some comments or mistatements that I have encountered both before and after weight loss surgery. There will be more, so I either can drive myself crazy by taking all verbal glitches directly to heart or I can learn to cope in a healthy way. The latter choice is obviously the better choice, so here are a few tips for dealing with those comments that have a bit of sting in them.

    1. Use your sense of humor.  A bit of humor can take the edge off of harsh comments and if executed well can lightheartedly point out to the offending person that the comment was, in fact, rude.

    2. Set boundaries and attempt to educate the person you are speaking with. Educating people who are too forward is a good way to respond to comments that lack the proper tone and it also empowers the recipient of those comments. Should this fail, discontinuing the conversation is always an option.

    3. If a question is inappropriately asked, respond honestly. People truly can be interested in you or your situation but lack the ability to present well.

    4. Remain kind. Sometimes this is effective because it might make the offending person feel some guilt about their behavior. Not always though.

    5. Ignore both the person and their behavior. Refusing to acknowledge rudeness sometimes can be effective.

    6. Finally, as tempting as it may be, do not meet rudeness with rudeness of your own. One person behaving inappropriately is more than enough.


    Living life well-fed,



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Published On: November 03, 2012