This past week has been a very arthritically painful one for me. I read the article yesterday after yet another sleepless night because the arthritic pain in both my hips wouldn't stop. I have a pain management doctor and I am on multiple powerful narcotic drugs for the pain that don't help me at all. I had also just had to call on my sister -- once again -- to ask her to shop for me and to clean and cook for me because the pain won't let me do the chores that most people can do.
Both my hips are extremely painful and I can't get them replaced because of other medical problems. Then I read that story about someone who can talk herself into climbing mountains in spite of her arthritis -- while I once again have to call upon other people to help me do the simple things in life because my hips are physically totally unable to support me.
I have to once again feel afraid that one day someone I ask for help (because it's physically impossible for me to do something) will think that I am simply lazy -- because they read about someone who says that their arthritis doesn't stop them from climbing mountains! I already feel humiliated asking for help and to think that someone might think I am just too weak willed to do something instead if it being impossible because of the pain, saddens me to no end.
As for not saying anything if I don't have anything nice to say -- well I was taught otherwise by my mother, father, teachers and religious guides. All the people I have complete respect for all told me to always speak my mind, because otherwise I will never learn anything. Too often women and children are chastised into submission because they are told never to say anything unless it's nice. I was taught that you can't learn if you don't question and test your opinions. I see that as a way to quiet any dissenters and, as a person who honors the idea of free speech, that offends me. I understand that putting on false smiles in spite of arthritis pain can make other people feel better when they come across a person who is suffering with arthritis pain, but this site is supposedly for people with arthritis and I'd rather we be permitted to be honest with our troubles, and be able to speak our hearts and minds than be told to be quiet and smile in spite of our pain.
I read and look at a lot of travel stories and TV programs, and if this story just had to do with a woman who is and has always been an adventurer, I wouldn't mind it. But to say that "I can" climb mountains in spite of arthritis is just another way of making people feel worse who cannot do many physical things. Many of us can never be able to talk ourselves into doing things, even the simple things, because it's physically impossible because of the terrible pain and fatigue of arthritis.
Let's let people who do not have arthritis know that there really are people whose arthritis is too severe to be able to "talk" themselves into physical action. We are not lazy or weak willed, we are suffering and need people to know that this disease really can stop us from enjoying life and doing many things.
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All this story does is to prove that one person doesn't have so much arthritis pain that it will stop her from climbing. For those of us with arthritis that are tortured by pain everyday, whose pain levels are so high that every movement is agony, this story looks like the bragging of one person who doesn't have the amount of pain that would stop her. It also gives people who don't have arthritis the very wrong idea that arthritis isn't so bad, that this woman with it can still climb mountains. They won't be able to understand why the people in their lives are complaining when their arthritis flares up so badly that they can't do the common activities anymore. All this story does is to let people without arthritis think that the pain isn't THAT bad, so people who do complain are lazy and just don't want to work. It does a disservice to people who are in agony with their pain and lets people who are not aware of how bad arthritis can really be think that it's not so bad because a woman with arthritis can even climb mountains! That's a false idea and a harmful one.
I personally won't be looking at or reading this person's blog. She's not an inspiration to me at all. She's someone whose making the boastful statement that since her arthritis isn't that bad then anyone can do what she's doing. And that is a false statement and a hurtful one. If she wants to boast about her vacation, then let her do it on another site - not where people who are struggling with pain everyday has to see it.
Hi Adrienne,
I am sorry that you didn't enjoy Pattye's post.
But Pattye Snyder has suffered a great deal of pain due to osteoarthritis. The condition also required her to have multiple joint replacement surgeries. She even talks about how the pain makes things difficult for her on a regular basis.
I think what she's trying to share is the story of somone who aspires to reach her life dreams despite the fact that she is often in pain bad enough to keep her from doing most regular things every day.
I hope you give Pattye's blog another chance. You may want to read some of her previous posts and the comments attached to them to get a better idea of what she's doing.
Thank you!
Joy B.
Adrienne,
Your reply to Pattye's blog is a great deal negative and disheartens me. My mother always told me that if I did not have anything nice to say, then not to say it. I respect my mother greatly, she has suffered immensely from RA for 30 plus years, and still manages to smile and say positive things. She is in pain almost every day of her life and her feet and hands are quite crippled. But should she not smile and try to be happy despite her obstacles? Two other positive things to share, I know Pattye personally, she volunteers on the local arthritis board with me, and she is an inspiration of mine. She walks the walk and shares her stories, which should inspire everyone whether you have arthritis or not. She is extremely giving and positive.
Cindy - P.S. I have RA too!