Hi healthgirl, welcome and thanks for your question.  I'm not a health professional so you really need to ask your Dr. these various questions.  I can give you the recommendations put out by the National Osteoporosis Foundation, but these apply to those with bone loss whether male or female, here's the page on Vitamin D and  Calcium sorry but the Magnesium link isn't working right now but you can find it by putting Magnesium in the search box at either of the links above.

Since you have other medical disorders, it's best for your Dr. to verify the above recommendations and come up with a plan for each of you in your family.  Some of these other conditions could affect the amount you should take, so pleas double check the recommendations.

Good luck with all this and if you have another question just ask.