Friday, June 01, 2012
erinffteh
  • erinffteh
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  • Gender: Female
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HEALTH INTERESTS:

bipolar disorder,  mental health,  bipolar symptoms,  bipolar disorder treatment

DRUGS I AM TAKING:

Currently none- I wish I was though.

ABOUT ME:

I was diagnosed with Bipolar when I was about 14 years old, that is when I first was put on Lithium which cause some problems with my thyroid (I still have those problems today)so they took me off that. I was pretty young so we didn't really take that first diagnose very serious. My parents assumed I was just either going through some melodramatic teen stage or suffering from depression. I took many meds off and on for depression (none which helped) When I hit a pretty hard low at age 19 and got some help. A professional told me that people with Bipolar tend to react badly to anti-depressants. He wanted to try something new, so I was put on Topamax. It didn't immediately change my life, but it was a start. I took off and on for a couple of months some other medications along with the Topamax (abilify, seroquel, and sleeping medications.) Eventually I was led to the combination of Topamax (200) and Lamictal (100), this really did the trick and for 4-5 years I felt completely well. Except for the occasional PMS, of course, (that is the joy of not only being bipolar, but a PMSing girl as well.) After moving to do some church service week for a year and a half, I returned home and met someone great and got married. For some reason (only Heaven knows) my medication started to stop working. It could have been the birth control with all the hormonal changes, or just the major environmental changes, or maybe I just got immune. I know now that I don't need to focus on the "Why", but just “well what now". Not only that but we want to have kids, so in order for me to do that I had to go off my meds anyway. Since then it has been a bit of a journey. I will say that through the few years of great health I experienced I learned a lot of life management tools, as well as good habits to help me. So what is my current treatment? Well besides trying to maintain balance (meaning: eating well, sleeping right, spiritual, social, and exercising) in life, I am trying something called neuro-- feedback therapy. It also is associated with Bio feedback therapy. This is new technology that is still growing. I still don't understand it perfectly but it has to do with different brain waves, and helping your brain to "re-wire" itself so it can go from a tense brain wave to a more sleep stage brain waves. I know this doesn't make perfect sense. But here is a link www.mindalive.com. I still am learning a lot about Bipolar itself, but I did learn that the mind is in a stage of flight or fight (hence the reason for poor choices and impulsive behaviors.) The neuro- feedback is there to help you calm down, giving you more of advantage. Can I say right now that I am feeling the best I ever have, and that I am mentally healthy? No, but I am managing and I am amazed at how much "I" am in charge, verses this "illness." I am a very religious person and I believe that we all have trials in life. It isn't a matter of just enduring, but learning to endure it well, "joy in the journey", not "I will be happy when I am not bipolar." Life comes with many challenges. There is a joke where a man is sitting on his roof in a flood, and a helicopter, and a boat, and several rescuers come to save him, but every time he refuses saying "God is going to save me." Well he gets to heaven and says to God "where were you?" God replies "Where was I, what are you talking about I sent you a boat and a helicopter?" I think this joke says a lot about Bipolar (and faith). You can just let your circumstances take over and basically control your life, or you can take control of the things your circumstances have to offer you (like good doctors, therapist, therapy, and medications). Okay that is enough of a novel about me. If you have any questions for me, or any thoughts about my current struggles feel free to share!

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Living With It in Bipolar

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