Presently I am separated from my husband and trying hard to understand his issues.  He was diagnosed BP the year I met him and was on meds for a short time before we got together. For the past 25 years he has struggled with alcohol and pot but recently stopped the pot 3 months ago.  According to him he isn't BP, he is stressed and smoking helped him cope.  We have had problems in our marriage from the beginning with his bouts of rage and paranoia. I honestly started to believe what he was saying about me until I realized his behavior pattern being repeated over and over.  Right now he is living 4 hours away from me and we were trying to work on our marriage until this week when he sent me a txt that he doesn't want to see me.  For 4 days now I have been on an emotional rollercoaster trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong but honestly I know it isn't me.  I am hoping to learn from the posts on here how others cope when a loved one won't acknowledge there is a problem.  My ultimate goal is to gain the strength to let go and move on knowing for sure that I loved and did all I could for him.  The verbal abuse has done a number on me though.