Information and opinions on health from earlyriser at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/234255/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/234255/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/234255/index http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/151178/depression Tue, 13 Mar 2012 10:25:23 -0400 earlyriser Addiction and more importantly addiction recovery, has a huge impact on my life. I've shared before all of my results. Does depression play a part in an addicts life? Does depression signal a relapse? Do the intense urges to give in to an addiction get worse during a depressive episode?   I often wonder and have been keeping close watch as to when the urge is greatest. I have come to see that I am most tempted to "give in" when I am... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/151178/depression http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150864/recovery Sun, 04 Mar 2012 06:55:50 -0500 earlyriser Both my parents smoked. As a young child the candy cigarettes (the real gateway drug) were cool..we were like the grownups. It was no consequence that I started to smoke before I was 10. By 13 I was hooked. I would steal cigs from my parents who never seemed to miss them. At 16 I convinced my mother to let me smoke. When I got sent to the state hospital at 17 I asked my father for permission to smoke....he granted me my wish.... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150864/recovery http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150640/clarity Sun, 26 Feb 2012 05:23:37 -0500 earlyriser The other day my wife and I were out shopping. We were chatting and having a good time. Then all of a sudden I crashed. I became super depressed. It was like was being pressed down by a huge weight. I told my wife this. She and I talked as we browsed the aisles. I told her I was okay and I was. I was worried that this "flat" mood I was in was gonna end in a crash. Well it was short lived. Later that day I was out counseling a friend who... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150640/clarity http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150411/flatnesss Sat, 18 Feb 2012 07:57:03 -0500 earlyriser There's something weird going on. For about three weeks I have been feeling "Flat". No extreme highs and no deep lows.   My whole life has been filled with extreme and intense emotions. I was either  very angry or completely withdrawn....never anything in between..like now.   I told my pdoc about the "flatness" he said "its better to be flat then high and low and all over the place". He's right.   I told my... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/234255/150411/flatnesss http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/129105/untouched Sat, 15 Jan 2011 05:44:22 -0500 earlyriser This sharepost is inspired by Christina's post about the Arizona mass murderer. She asked for my comment. I thought a few days about this.   I post a lot about my life, mental health diagnosis (MHD) and things in general.   One topic that I haven't posted much about lately is stigma. Stigma. That's a word that doesn't get used much here. Is it because its gone? Is it something that just stopped?   I don't... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/129105/untouched http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128920/mom-love Thu, 13 Jan 2011 07:20:32 -0500 earlyriser My mom called and said that she got the package we sent her for her birthday (The 17th is her birthday). We sent her 12 chocolate roses I made and the pics of Mike. She and I talked a little and laughed. She sounded better. I was worried that she would still be angry over my outbursts after Mike's death. It was nice to hear her feeling good.   The other morning I had a dream that I was driving my old 1971 Dodge with my dad. It was snowing... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128920/mom-love http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128841/snowed Wed, 12 Jan 2011 07:46:02 -0500 earlyriser Oh boy! I get to use my snowblower this morning. Doggone it just as I wrote that a guy up the street just went through with his snowblower. I am glad that he did, what a nice gesture!! I still have to do my driveway. Snowblowers are cool!!   Today is Mike's birthday, he would've been 44.   A few voices have been lurking around. I don't give them any notice or attention.   I had a bit of anxiety yesterday. Not sure why. I... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128841/snowed http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128739/depression Tue, 11 Jan 2011 05:46:41 -0500 earlyriser The mind is an amazing mechanism. It can do wonderous things. Thanksgiving I was gripped with depression. It went away on 1/08/2011. That was the day we had Mike's service. The depression I had was magnified by Mike's death. When I said my last goodbye, I was lifted up. Depression is often felt by me. I have a diagnosis os Schizoaffective disorder. That means I have psychosis and Bi-Polar of sorts. I don't get the mania associated with BiPolar... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128739/depression http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128645/corner Mon, 10 Jan 2011 06:07:36 -0500 earlyriser My depression has lifted. I am now on good path. My journey is getting easier. Thank God!!   There is one last thing I have to do, I have to write the last part of Mike's section in my memior. This will be the final closing of his life.   The other day I made a new dish I call it "stuffed roast beef rounds." I took some thin sliced roast beef, rolled some cornbread stuffing inside the beef, poured gravy over it (I love... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128645/corner http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128485/what-right Sat, 08 Jan 2011 05:58:39 -0500 earlyriser There's a song line that says "do what is right, and let the consquences follow."   Today is my final goodbye to Michael. He touched the lives of many, except his own family. He surely touched mine.   I know that all the decisions I made these past two weeks were what I thought would be best for MIke. I was my "brother's keeper." Let me say that I wasn't always loving and kind to Mike. I sometimes got mad at him becaue he didn't... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/234255/128485/what-right