I have been through a lot of stress in my life but had stayed pretty functional until 8 years ago I had a complete and total break (I went crazy).Noone even knew they thought i was on drugs or just i don't really know.I took me 2 years to even begin to start to come around and be able to have a conversation. i tryed to get help and they had me on lithium,2antidepressants, i think 2 anti anxieties, tranquilizers and I don't remember what all cuz i was a zombie.i took a year off from trying to work to get some help and i didn't even knowuntil this past weekend that the voices i thought were just really bad self talk and different angles of my person aren't normal and are part of the biplor.I have always gotten through by talking(sometimes the same problem over and over)but usually work through it. I forgot to mention that I had not had a feeling (except irritation)for at least 2years andprobably longer.I have been fighting hard for two months at least with not remembering and anxiety and sleep, very recently out of the blue I started feeling again I mean not just emotionally but like even get cold or feel it if i get hurt.i knew this would happen eventually.What I did not know was that the feeling of stupidity and anxiety and irrititation etc,etc,etc would also be there.I have been the backbone of my work for almost 3years and now my bosses are trying to "help me" by hiring a general manager(which is supposed to be me) and I need help...I have anephew who is bipolar also and  it wasnt until i really talked with my sister that i even knew that my voices were not normal self talk. I know nothing about the real workings of this illness except what i have figured out.this has been the worst transition(step of from crazy)i have ever had and it's not nice.I live in rural oregon and am a single mom that welfare will not help because i have"marketable"skills.OUr countly mental health is not bipolar savy apparently because they never talked that with me just about trauma.I don't make enough for health insurance, and too much for OHP which doesn't matter because they would make me go to our county facility and i have tried that 3 times and i can't be an uninformed zombie again.PLEASE help.I am in a place in life where I could and should be happy and then in comes this. I'm scared and nobody thinks it's that bad(well they thought that until yesterday) please help