Information and opinions on health from cathryne at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/3906/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/3906/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/3906/index http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161258/depression Fri, 07 Jun 2013 10:05:54 -0400 cathryne Well, I do get depressed.  It's not like I'm riding the pink cloud for very long.  I wake up in the morning and just before true conciousness, sort of pre-counsness I would guess and I think of all the horrible things that I have done to mostly my kids in my life. Mt-6 schools in his shool years to where he never had friends and never got a grasp of math.  His drinking more than likely as a result of all that.  Me not paying... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161258/depression http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161150/human Fri, 31 May 2013 15:36:05 -0400 cathryne Yes, I do mean the BBC series.  Am I to define myself and let others define me by my disorder.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I think it protects me from being hasseled into doing things that are beyond my capabilites due to that disorder, or due, frankly, because ot the med's I'm on.  I get so exhausted SOMETIMES because of my meds.  We all do.     But most of the time I just refuse to be sick.  I act sort... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161150/human http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161012/irs-psychiatrist Thu, 23 May 2013 15:21:13 -0400 cathryne Really, Mr M at the IRS was so sympathetic he was tempted to wipe ot the 2012 debt.  But he didn't and he didn't put it through for garnishment either.  Have a payment plan to forestall garnishment but I can pay it off within 120 days.  He said he din't see "d's" amount on there. Oh its there allright, were just not talking today about  what a sleezeball my engineer of a husband really was.  Lot's of money, no class.... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161012/irs-psychiatrist http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161010/horrible-thought Thu, 23 May 2013 14:09:25 -0400 cathryne So I spoke with Dr S and was released.  Told him than any history that  they would need they would  have  to  get it out of the manila file cuz I certainly wasn't going  tell the anything.  It was absolutely none of their business.  That being said I phoned the clinic to make an apointment.  I have an apointment they stated it's on Aug 5th at the homeless shelter clinic.  That's the one I made... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/161010/horrible-thought http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160993/standing-line Wed, 22 May 2013 16:55:04 -0400 cathryne So, I have been told by my "social worker" that I now, becasue I am med's only that I must have services transfered to another clinc with a Dr K.  down the hill - actually right around the cul d sac where I work- for treatment to be more effective.  Effective.  Really.  Like I get to tell my story all over again to yet another Dr who, when I visit him the second time one month later will not remember that story and ask me to... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160993/standing-line http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160839/work Mon, 13 May 2013 15:35:02 -0400 cathryne Shouldn't be but here I am.  Great.  But something unusual happened today.  T called me on something that yes, I did goof up on.  But he told me how in the future I could tell that I had goofed. And that was a bald faced lie.  "you shoud have know becasue "these" numbers were off"  Those numbers wouldn't have been the same as Sunday no matter what.  Stock was sold, T.  It's Tuesday wee hours of the morning... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160839/work http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160740/mother-day Mon, 06 May 2013 12:44:22 -0400 cathryne I was going to wait until Mother's day to post.  But something happened again yesterday and it seems to be happening more frequenly as it has in the distant past.     When I was a teenager I started having "half-seizures"  They weren't grand mall.  Tho I had three of those in my lifetime so those are somewhat familiar to me.  Half seizures in my case were sort of what would occur at the beginning of a seizure.... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/160740/mother-day http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/137118/date Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:29:05 -0400 cathryne So to bring this all up to date.  I am feeling a bit better after increasing the tegretol from 400mg to 600me.  The cycling isn't so deep or so frequent.  Once in a while I will burst into tears for maybe 5 minutes but then it's over and I wonder what that was all about.  But I'm sill sort of depressed.  Whnich is unusual for me because I usually run hypomanic. I'm staying up 36 hours today to see if I can shake off this... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/137118/date http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/135265/covers Wed, 30 Mar 2011 09:00:22 -0400 cathryne I finally owned up to my deepest fear.  Yes, I am depressed.  I have probably been dcepressed for about a year witout admitting it. But as things go for me, I wait until I am emotioanlly backed up against the wall with absolutely no where to go but the "cofessional" of my own mind and soul.     I make enough money.  I'm probably considered middle class.  But for the past 6 months I haven't even been able to afford... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/135265/covers http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/133982/destruction-heart Mon, 14 Mar 2011 13:01:34 -0400 cathryne It's been a rought two weeks.  I hadn't been anything but baseline for 2 months tho reading you'all's posts off and on.  Now I'm not sure what's going on with me.  A week and a half ago I checked in a guest at say 2a. (we're one of those hotel's that is open all night).  He seemed a little on the addictive side of normal but my manager want's no one to walk out the door, not in this economy.  I charged them full rate (I... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/3906/133982/destruction-heart