I am 55 years old. I have had breast cancer twice. The first time was in March 2001. I only found out about the breast cancer due to a routine mammogram. It was stage 1 & the size of a pea. My breast surgeon talked me into a lumpectomy & radiation. My oncologist recommended 3 rounds of chemo. I decided since I didn't have any signs of the cancer in my lymph nodes & they thought they got it all I didn't need the chemo. I still wonder if that wasn't a mistake. In October 2003 I felt a lump in the same breast & in the same place. I knew immediately it was cancer. I tried to be in denial but it kept growing & it had been less than 6 months since my last mammogram. I looked up the symptoms on the computer & asked my husband to feel the lump to make sure I wasn't just imagining things. He felt the lump to. Of course I had to go get a mammogram, sonogram & biopsy. I just wanted to get the thing out & get it over with ASAP. I had a double mastectomey with immediate reconstructive surgery. I went to a plastic surgeon prior to my surgery to get my options. I forgot what the official term is but I decided to use the flaps from my back to be brought around to make my breasts. I had a 12 hour surgery. The first part was done by the breast surgeon & the reconstruction was done by my plastic surgeon. Two days after my surgery on both of my breast in a circular area my tissue started to die. My personal opinion is that my breast surgeon scooped out too much tissue in that area. She could not explain it to me, she didn't know why it happened. They put me in a hyperbaric chamber for several days but it wasn't working. I was freaking out because I knew it wasn't working but I didn't know what the next step would be. My plastic surgeon had to go in and take all the dead tissue out & do extensive skin graphs from the skin on the top of my leg. By far the skin graph area was the most painful of all things I had gone through or would go through in the future. During chemo the graphs healed & I would get my expanders pumped up every so often. My plastic surgeon decided he would over pump me & when I was through with chemo he would operate again & take out the skin graph area & start all over. This worked very well. He started pumping me again to my desired size. With all the pumping & skin stretching my cleavage had come loose from my chest. I had decided on tear drop type saline implants because I am a tall & broad shouldered women. The implants turned sideways & caused me to look deformed. We had to replace them with round implants & he had to sew me a cleavage. I then had a bit of tissue taken from the area where I had previously had a hysterectomy. This tissue was used to make areola's. He also made me some nipples. After that healed he came in & tatooed me some nipples. I had my own color chart to choose from. While most women who have recosntructive surgery WILL NOT experience these problems I am very happy with my breasts. They feel like a part of me & I can't imagine how I would feel without them.

I decided on reconstructive surgery for several reasons. My mom had a mastectomy & she never had reconstructive surgery. After her husband died she has never been in a relationship since & I know it is due to her embarrassment or insecurity of her breasts because when I told her I was going to have reconstructive surgery she said I don't blame you. I also wanted to try to get back to as normal as possible after having one through hell twice with breast cancer. Deciding to have or not to have reconstructive surgery is a very personal decision. I have felt some hostility from women who didn't get reconstructive surgery. I really don't get it. It is amazing the technology available to us today. You wouldn't turn down the best treatment they have to offer to kill you cancer so why so much controversy for those who choose reconstructive surgery?

Life is good & I am 5 years out from the last bout with breast cancer. The only regret I have is I should have taken the chemo treatments that were recommended to me during my first bout with cancer in 2001.