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Leveling outis Wife, Mother, Grandmother
- Location: NE, United States
- Gender: Female
- Birthday:
- Bio: live with husband and 3 Scottie Dogs
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HEALTH INTERESTS:
anxiety, depression, mania, thoughts of suicideDRUGS I AM TAKING:
Klonapin, Depakote, Synthroid, B12 injections weekly, lamictal,ABOUT ME:
I believe I had had this lurking all my life. I once saw a questionnaire of BP in children and I answered yes to all but one. I have had minor phychotic or hallucination episodes. I can be a bit delusional. I was a spender. But of course they just called me moody, PMS, Menopausal, a witch. I used to pray I would get sick and die then it would all be over then I wouldn't have to suffer any longer. Then I suddenly started having full blown anxiety attacks that landed me in ER 3 times. I was convinced it way my heart. REFUSED to believe mental. Took a long time to accept GAD anb BI-polar. After 2 yrs of treatment i thought I was better and went off meds. Then I started having severe mood swings. I have "understood" suicide for about 10 years now. It's only lately I have "considered" it and wanted a way out of the pain. I even have a plan. There were episodes where I wanted to be hospitalized and I still don't understand the episodes of weakness and shortness of breath. But lately, after I got over the extreme side effects of Seroquel, have been through several meds and Depakote has worked well for several months, I can see some light at the end of that tunnel. My family doc finally picked up on the fact it was more than GAD. It was a one month wait in my area for a Psyche appt. I have been seeing him for about 9 months. I did quite well on Depakote for almost a year now it has stopped working and I am slowing changing to Lamictal. He did have to increase that dosage after a week. I am still taking Kolonapin as I have for 5 years. I am now at 100 morning and night.PHOTOS:
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Living With It in Bipolar
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