Information and opinions on health from Marishka at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/index http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153190/things Tue, 22 May 2012 10:18:51 -0400 Marishka I know I have this up on my mirror....'with God, all things are possible'   Yet, I start to sometimes get very confused....   I recite ....God, grant me the courage to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot.......   How to accomplish my goals?  Have a happy marraige.  Have a livelihood I enjoy that gives something positive to the planet.  Have a small home in a rural, nature type area.  Give... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153190/things http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153187/holding Tue, 22 May 2012 09:58:59 -0400 Marishka I am so tense I am not breathing deeply.  My diaphram is tight as a rock and I am breathing out of my chest.   So tense.  When my boyfriend does not call for a few days to a week or so....or maybe calls back once or so....I get very tense...   I like to talk to him most every night.  Or every other night or so.  Actually, I think I like to know that he still loves me too.  I would like him to call more and... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153187/holding http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153083/overwhelmed Fri, 18 May 2012 11:10:38 -0400 Marishka Hi,   I guess I need to talk again.  Since I feel overwhelmed.  I guess it is natural to need to talk but for some reason I feel ashamed when I need to and when I need emotional support.   Thoughts are going through my mind of all the overwhelming things.  Negative thinking is creeping in .   Had my 43rd birthday.  Did feel hurt when my boyfriend did not call.  Asked him yesterday and he said work... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/153083/overwhelmed http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152916/depressed Sun, 13 May 2012 10:19:32 -0400 Marishka   It is mother's day.  I don't know all the reasons, but know I feel depressed today.   I feel confused and angry that it seems instead of growing up, moving forward, getting a career, marrying, having a child, instead, just years and years of struggling to stay alive and keep away depression and trying to heal one condition after another and raise myself all over again, teaching myself all I was never taught.   Survive a... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152916/depressed http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152413/short-report Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:57:00 -0400 Marishka Found that it is best to keep Emma and Burt apart.   Emma  is happy  this way.  She is not scared.     Emma is  on the floor sleeping near the computer.   She is very happy being near me without Burt.   I feed her in this room now.    This is not what I wanted, but I want Emma happy and this is how she is happy.   Burt seems ok with this arrangement. I spend time with him... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152413/short-report http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152388/places Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:54:28 -0400 Marishka Austrailia, US, Europe (England), South Africa, Canada,  and I thought, Jordan?   These are places where I remember people writing on here...are there more?   Are people from other countries on here too reading and writing ?   just curious...it is great to hear from peope from all over!   Marishka http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152388/places http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152307/small-rural Sun, 22 Apr 2012 21:33:19 -0400 Marishka I want so much to be married and living in a small friendly rural town.  In another country would be my pace and values.  Eating slowly, walking narrow streets, enjoying life.   But I have no idea how or where or what.  I am in a big city which I hate (big cities), with noise and tailgating, rushing, and it is miserable.   I am lost.  Since I have been so horribly ill for the last three years, I just have the... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152307/small-rural http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152256/free-therapy Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:53:17 -0400 Marishka I get free therapy.  On the phone,  in person, EMDR.  Talking for two hours at a time.  Why???   This woman who is licensed, an 'expert' in disociation, sees paying clients etc.  is willing to do all this for me.  Why??   Why??   Is she trustworthy?  Going to hurt me very badly?  I wonder.  Each time I talk with her.  Why??   She says she does not need the... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152256/free-therapy http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152249/struggling Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:28:22 -0400 Marishka Well, it goes on and on doesn't it.  Ups, downs, turns, twists, life, death.   On and on.   My uncle passed away maybe three weeks ago.  I guess I lost track.  I guess I have not dealt with it.  I know I wrote it here, but I have forgotten when.   I am having a hard time.    My father emailed me and said he is very sad.   He said my brother is very sad since last month, he got... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152249/struggling http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152195/depression Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:22:09 -0400 Marishka I feel strong depression today. I feel it in my face, the top of my head, and a heaviness.  And confused.  I know I have been triggered and am thrown back to an earlier time.  I also feel terror.   I got triggered by the email from my father.  This is a pattern for sure.   So I am going to briefly examine it here and maybe get insight from others.   His email said he had just come back from visiting my... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/152195/depression