Information and opinions on health from Marishka at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/444306/index http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160955/depressed Tue, 21 May 2013 07:33:37 -0400 Marishka very depressed now.  The noise is just too much.  Just very ill and very negative thinking.   I guess putting blankets over the vents on the furnace/ac inside made it work harder and now it seems to come on with a huge bang.  Just too much, everything.  Trying to stay positive but in dark place in my mind.   Not enough support and feel things are just wearing me to the bone. http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160955/depressed http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160931/depression-swept-today Sun, 19 May 2013 18:01:17 -0400 Marishka lots of depression.  Causes are probably multiple.   It is very hot which makes going out and about challenging.   Just so overwhelmed with stress of money, needing to move to a cheaper, smaller, quieter home and trying to decide whether to find one to rent for 500-700 dollars a month ?    or to find out info from soc sec lawyer next week and buy-if I can get it in my name only on the deed? and if this is... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160931/depression-swept-today http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160921/frustrated-anxiety Sat, 18 May 2013 13:47:26 -0400 Marishka One thing at a time.   Have to decide whether to stay here on East side,  just go further South in a quiet neighborhood or go an hour across town to the countryside- West side in a home.  In an apt.  Or townhome or home.  Or stay here another year.   Benefit of staying on this side of town- familiar and familiar people, friends.   Other side- cheaper homes and more rural.  Freeway there though, need... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160921/frustrated-anxiety http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160825/eye-chakra Sun, 12 May 2013 11:49:58 -0400 Marishka Blocked.  I hate this feeling.  I know all I need to do is go to the mountain and sit by the stream and in a bunch of hours I will be clear.   It is two hours to get there.  Twenty minutes to the closest park.   Every car which is every minute here is torture for me, particularly when I have been upset or 'triggered' by my father's words or behaviors (or maybe exclusively then, I forget when I get triggered what it... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160825/eye-chakra http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160823/patience Sun, 12 May 2013 03:39:37 -0400 Marishka I feel fed up. Feel I am going to explode with each car noise.  All I need is quiet.     I asked if the home will be in my name only, on the title, as far as I can remember.  My father said I asked if it would be in my name and the trusts' name.  Why in the hell would I ask that. I wouldn't.    Can't find it to validate myself and to see what was really asked and said.  My mind has been spinning and... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160823/patience http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160665/moving-forward Wed, 01 May 2013 09:57:30 -0400 Marishka Still not too well.   Moving forward though I guess.   I researched soc sec and found out home can be in my name only, and if I want to move- they give a grace period to have the cash from the home before buying another.  3 months. Not a lot.  But I guess doable.   That means, discussing with my father eventually to have home in my name only.  Also, probably going to see soc sec attorney soon to ask many more... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160665/moving-forward http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160545/feeling-low Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:07:20 -0400 Marishka Just very very low.  I see others are feeling down too....just don't feel up enough to respond right now...I'm sorry...   Tired of trying so hard.   Feel like a 'not good' person.  Having some very negative thoughts.  Feeling like people are laughing or smirking (at my feeling vulnerable, like I will never be ok) and this sets me off....PTSD   Feel trapped and just feel depressed.  Tired of... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160545/feeling-low http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160510/depressed-triggered Wed, 24 Apr 2013 19:19:32 -0400 Marishka My muscles are starting to become very tense.  I am scared, confused.    I see lots of us are going through feelings right now.   Asked father for money.  Feel that is all I know to do to survive right now.   Don't want him to feel manipulated, bad. His mind will think this way.  I don't know what is saying how I feel, what I need and what is manipulating.  He thinks all people are manipulating... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160510/depressed-triggered http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160364/stay-positive Wed, 17 Apr 2013 07:55:38 -0400 Marishka Not easy right now.   Asked father for 5,000 to have through summer monsoons and winter so bills don't stack up like last year unpaid, causing me hellish stress, and I am so stressed that pain is unbearable and I am taking  ativan and tramadol every six hours and crying in pain every day.   I am afraid of his reply. Since I am also trying to get the cheap home.  Going to see two tomorrow.   Seems when there is a... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160364/stay-positive http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160316/inverse-relationship Mon, 15 Apr 2013 08:10:51 -0400 Marishka My mother commented the other day that she notices an inverse relationship (correlation) between making money and being a kind, sensitive caring person in the world.   I kind of notice that connection too.  However I don't think it is always.   Some seem to have developed a way to do both.  Maybe not be rich, but have enough.  And I am sure some who make a lot of money are also very good, caring, kind and generous... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/444306/160316/inverse-relationship