Friday, June 01, 2012
Kynnie22
  • Kynnie22
  • Location: Allston, MA, United States
  • Gender: Female
  • Birthday:
  • Bio: dealing with a type of depression that comes in cycles.
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HEALTH INTERESTS:

dysthimia,  depression,  cycles,  mood swings,  low self esteem,  body image

DRUGS I AM TAKING:

lexapro,  wellbutrin

ABOUT ME:

I used to suffer from dysthimia about 2 years ago. I had some eating issues and an obsession with losing weight. I was in an abusive relationship off and on from age 12-18 and I was sinking. I started therapy and medication and they really helped, but eventually I hated taking the pills. I'm an artist (filmmaker) and I felt like I couldn't create anything while I was taking them. I felt better for a long time. I was losing weight in a healthy way and making friends again. I started being myself. Now...my depression has taken an interesting turn. I will have weeks where I feel normal (happy, sad, excited, tired, hungry... all of the emotional range a stable person has) and then a week or so thrown in there where I feel completely dejected. I get upset over irrational things. I have these mood swings where I snap at the people I love most. I worry about everything and I fear things I shouldn't. I feel like I need to do something more...I am having a hard time enjoying the ride, so to speak. I feel fat and ugly. I fear that my boyfriend is lying when he says he loves me. I feel like I'm not good enough or creative enough to make films. I fear that my parents think I'm a burden. I snap in and out of it, and when I'm out I am so proactive about resolving my issues...but when I'm in it, my God, I can barely stand to see my face in the mirror. I had a talk with my doctor and she says I am not bipolar or manic-depressive. We just need to figure out a way to keep me rational on a more constant basis. I am hoping this group will help when I need to talk. I'm graduating college in May and I hope to get a good job and start building a life with the man I love. This needs to end, you know?

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ROLES:

Living With It in Depression

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