I'm May, and I just turned 21. These last few years have not been the kindest, but I somehow pulled through. Just barely, but I did. My worst enemy has always been myself, but I'm doing my best to change that. It's a dauntingly slow process, and I stumble literally all the time, but I'm slowly... changing? Growing up? Opening my eyes? Whatever you want to call it. 

I'm still a complete mess of a person, but I'm trying to be less of one. I still suffer from crippling low self-esteem, but I'm trying to rebuild it, piece by tiny piece. I still deal with a lot of crap, like depression and anxity issues and tendencies of self-harm and a mental fog that just refuses to lift, not to mention a horrible avoidant personality and a laughable fear of change, but I'm learning to deal. 

Aside from that... I'm starting to get back into some of my old hobbies, like writing, which I'd abandoned because of my esteem-issues. And I've started being more health-conscious, and am doing my best to lose the weight I'd gained these past few years (down 45 lbs; 95 more to go). 

I'm always scared. Always. I'm scared of the past, I'm scared of the present, I'm scared of the future; I'm scared of everything, and I doubt that's ever going to really change. 

What I want most of all is to be able to one day think, "yeah, I'm scared, but that's not going to stop me." I'm not quite there yet, not even close, but I'm hopeful that I someday will be. 

So this is me. If anyone ever wants to chat, feel free to hit me up.