Have suffered from Migraines since 1989. My father had migraines in his early childhood and outgrew them in his late teenage years. He was born 1928 and passed mid march 2005 at age 77. My mother had hers when she was approx 49 after I moved out in 1982 and she passed at age 69 in mid may 2003. My sister is 6 yrs younger than I, so she would have been born June 1968 then because I was born Aug 1962. She started getting migraines in her mid to late teens, well after I moved out so that would have been at the approx age of-well she was 11 when I moved out and I'm not sure what age she was when she moved out. She's not communicating w/me anymore because I would not give her money anymore after the division of my parents estate. She never learned to manage her money but she is never to blame it's everone elses fault for not bailing her out all the time. But that is why I cannot get history on my mom's nor her migraines because they happened after I moved out of the home when I got married at age of 20. I know my mom nor my sister followed a trigger diet were as I do. I believe that NO food nor beverage is worth the pain and suffering. They had the opposite theory. Boggles my mind still to this day. And also my mother hated and detested going to the doctor-my dad had to fight with her to get her to go. I on the other hand go willingly at any signs of sickness and I'm a compliant patient, always following doctors orders and instructions and getting RX's filled after leaving the office and getting them refilled before they run out and getting my followup appointments rescheduled on time and I do my cancer screenings. My mother never did those. Sadly we always had to argue over those and she was dead set on not participating in those screeings. When she was admitted into the nursing home in 2001 w/progressing Alzheimers and it was in late 2002 she had her 1st colonoscopy after years of having horrible bathroom issues. She was diagnosed w/stage 4 colon cancer. She also had congestive heart failure after years of high BP. She had surgery and ended up w/the bag, I'm at a loss for words now, but the cancer spread to the lympth nodes they removed as well as her lower colon. On 5-15-03 she passed from a massive stroke. The cancer spread to her liver, it made her blood sticky and thick when it tried to filter and made a huge clot that traveled to her brain that killed her.
My dad was diagnosed in 2001 w/diabetes and almost lost his leg due to celulitis and was in the hospital the same time my mom was before she was admitted to the nursing home. 2001 was a very stressful year for me having 2 parents in the hospital at the same time. Then he was diagnosed w/high BP, then the diabetes Retina where he had several laser surgeries but was still losing his vision and slowly going blind plus he was depressed at mom being in the nursing home. Then came the point his driving rights were taken away. That was rough. Then he was diagnosed with high cholesterol. Then on April 27 2005 I went to work and he had an appt w/his Dr and I had that feeling and I called from my cell and left him a message on his ans mach to call me when he got home. I just felt off all day. On my way home I called still no answer and when I got home on my home answering machine the service that was to pick him up and bring him home left me a message that he wasn't ready and they waited and rang the doorbell but no answer and you know when you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and your knees turn to Jello and you just get that thought in your mind "I know I should have skipped work and just gone there instead" so I got in the car and raced there. The back porch screen door was locked and panic really set in. I caled 911 and the cops got there in seconds but it felt like hours at the time. The jimmied the latch and used my key and said "do I want to wait outside while they go it" and like a chicken I said feebley "yes". they came rushing out and said he's still alive and called 911 and said it wasn't pretty. OMG the thing I dreaded was unfolding in frong of me. Then the guilt and remorse. If I had just gone there earlier in the day like I had thought he would have been found sooner and he might have had some chance of surviving. He had a massive bleeding stroke. They were not sure if it was overnight or in the early morning. He mumbled some where you could pick out the words and he could squeeze your hand for the 1st 24-48 hrs in the hospital and then after than he was in a coma like state. We had to put him in a nursing home and wait out until the end came because his brain was dying and his organs were to follow. Once in the nursing home we were called back to his bedside because they thought the end was near. He opened his eyes briefly, I read some scripture to him. He closed them for a final time and hung on for a week but his breathing became more and more labored. It was painful to watch and hear. The last night I saw him alive April 26 2005 It was after I got off work. I went back to work for a day or 2. I stood in the doorway and his breathing was more labored, if possible. And I know this will sound crazy to some people, but I was going to stay but I felt a presence in the room and as I felt it drift over me I also felt somehow it telling me to go that if I stayed he would hold on and suffer and struggle another day. I don't know what that presence was but I took one long and painful last look and made that hard decision to turn around and leave without rushing in to kiss him goodbye on the forehead. I drove home crying because I knew, deep down in the pit of my stomach that made me sick, I knew I was going to get a call that night from the nursing home that he had passed away. And I tried to sleep on the living room couch that night with the phone in my hand and sure enough just after midnight the phone rang and after the 1st ring I picked it up and they called me to tell me dad passed away.
So the 2 people I loved the most in this world I lost them Not even 2 years apart. And to this day I still think about them every day and about how much I love them, miss them and how much they sacrificed for us kids and how much they loved us and showed us they loved us and how I wished I had spent more time with them after I moved out and started a life on my own. I only lived 25 min away and sure i called them often and they babysat my daugther when she was little and we did go over there from time to time. But it wasn't enough. I should have gone over there more. You never appreciate what you have until it's gone then you miss it. I had 2 great parents and how I miss them so.
I hope when I pass on that I have instilled the values my parents taught me to my daughter that family is the most important and that she misses me as much as I have missed my parents. Family is the treasure on earth that you value the most. The material things don't mean a thing-you can't take it with you. But family you can be reuinited with in Heaven and that is the one thing you can take with you-the only treasure that is on earth that you can take to heaven and that is your loved ones.
Living With It in Migraine