I am 52 years old and have been married 20 years this year to my fouth and most wonderful husband.  I have 4 children here and 4 with the Lord.  I am a christian and never thought I would go through this as a christian.  I spend 9 years drug free and it wasn't till I was pregant with my 8th child that I started feeling those feelings of depression again.  As it turned out my son was stillborn as his cord was tied in what they call a true Knot.  I can no longer work as I enjured my back and am stuck at home. 

We started having problems with our daughter at 12 as she was raped by my older daughters husband and rather than tell anyone she ran away all the way to California..  My husband and I have never been the same since them.  She now is in a locked facility which I pray will help her stay out of ever going back to the streets and drugs etc.   In the past I have loved to crochet and I love house plants. I did love to read and write.  I hate to say this but the only thing I enjoy right now is sleeping.  I can't find happiness in anything.  If anyone has a suggestion for a better antidepressant that paxil or Celexa please let me know