Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Survivor
  • Survivor
    is having a wonderful day.
  • Location: United States
  • Gender: Female
  • Bio: I may have bipolar disorder but I refuse to let it get the best o
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HEALTH INTERESTS:

bipolar disorder

DRUGS I AM TAKING:

Triliptal

ABOUT ME:

It's been a wild and crazy ride but I made it. I have a poem I wrote that I think pretty much says it all, and it goes like this: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . TRAGEDY WITH A TWIST ©2008 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just as I was about to leave from work when tragedy fell upon me . . . My head was hurting like never before and I was unable to clearly see. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Even though being dazed and confused I attempted to look around . . . Completely unaware I was laying flat on the ground. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Feeling as if a bomb had exploded deep inside of my head . . . People rushed from all around thinking I might be Dead. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ As the Ambulance took me to the emergency room, I was still in a lot of pain . . . All because an aneurysm had ruptured in my brain. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ It was nothing less than a miracle for me to have Survived . . . But sometimes I feel it would have been better if I would have went ahead and died. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ I never was the same after that . . . As I was unable to regain control of my life I ended up very fat. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Oh but wait that isn't all, as my life changed even more . . . Especially after Bipolar Disorder came knocking at my door. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Bipolar Disorder is a devastating disease . . . Ripping my life completely apart and doing it with great ease. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ It sneaks right upon you like a thief in the night . . . Causing havoc and chaos, oh what terrible fright. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Although several years had passed before I was able to see . . . Exactly why all my friends and family ran away from me. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Causing me much depression nearly more than I could bare . . . Without another soul it seemed who really even cared. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ No longer capable of knowing who I could or could not trust . . . My heart aching bad enough I thought it was going to bust. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Very aware I was losing control with paranoia setting in . . . "Oh Dear God I beg you please don't let this happen again." ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Believe it or not I changed my name and my religion too . . . Which only added confusion to what I was already going through. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Extremely terrified with the thought I might be going Crazy . . . I even started passing out when everything started getting hazy. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Trying hard to stay awake at night while doing harm within . . . Hoping to avoid all the nightmares from coming again and again. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ In and out of relationships, I married six or seven times . . . Ending up after each divorce without a single dime. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Desperately wanting friendship and needing someone to love . . . If only I had remembered to call on the Good Lord above. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Still to this day I feel the pain of my family dumping me . . . Nevertheless I love them all . . . . . it's just the way it had to be. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Longing to be a grandma is something I've always wanted to be . . . But that's a special privilege that was not allowed for me. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ After living with Bipolar Disorder for twenty some odd years . . . Somewhere in that period of time, I learned how to hold back my tears. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ For those of you reading this poem who is Bipolar too . . . It's important for me to let you know, I wrote this poem for you. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Way down deep inside of my soul I know without a doubt . . . You are the one who can truly relate to what this is all about. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ At least there is a happy ending which I am about to share . . . But first I'd like to take a moment and say a little prayer. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ God I pray you will allow me into heaven as I know you hold the key . . . Thank you Lord for all of the blessings that you have given me. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ At times it seemed against all odds of me ever finding peace in my life . . . But God himself had a different plan and made me a USMC Veteran's wife. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ We married eight wonderful years ago and he accepts me the way I am . . . He's always been polite to me and even calls me mam. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Sometimes I feel he's an Angle from God that was sent to me . . . He's always going out of his way to make me as happy as I can be. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ At times he makes me feel like a Queen when he makes my dreams come true. . . Most of the time surprising me with what he's about to do. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Not only did he build us a beautiful home . . . But surprised me with a Jaguar of my very own. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ There's no more nasty depression for me while I lay in the sack . . . Bye bye paranoia, you're never welcome back. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ All the years of night mares are now totally gone . . . "Hip Hip Hooray" . . . And I pray the same will happen for you, each and every day. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ “Take care my friend and God Bless”

PHOTOS:

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ROLES:

Living With It in Bipolar

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