Thursday, May 31, 2012
T.
  • T.
  • Location: New Cumberland, PA, United States
  • Gender: Female
  • Birthday: May 03, 1977
  • Bio: depressed, scared spouse is overburdened/ sad kids are affected
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HEALTH INTERESTS:

Depression,  maybe Bi-Polar Disorder,  Generalized Anxiety Disorder,  Social Anxiety Disorder

DRUGS I AM TAKING:

Currently no drugs

ABOUT ME:

I felt "different" from other people since Preschool. I can remember way back that I would always be hyper-sensitive and touchy feely and would view other kids my age as sometimes unfair, cruel and like they just do not understand or accept who I am. At 24 years I gave birth to our first child. I had painful post partum depression and my OB GYN acutally suggested for me to seek help for depression. Today I am 32, I have pushed my symptoms under the rug but right now I do not seem to be able to hold up and smile at the world as I usually do while covering up my sadness. I feel sad for my kids to have a Mom with Depression and feel sad for my husband to have a depressed wife. I am trying to tell him its not his fault. I consider myself highly functional. I have a part time job, my husband lives 2 hours away due to work and comes home about every weekend. I take care of the kids, the house and the job. I am willing to deal with my illness head on not resorting to alcoholism or druguse to find an easy way out. I read a lot of psychology books for selfdiagnosis purposes. I was in counseling off and on for the past 8 years and on the medications, paxil, zoloft, xanax, prozac, lithium. Right now I am off all medications. My husband is in the US Army. We move alot. I find it hard to build a social support net around me because we move and I first have to make friends. Its hard for me to make friends when I am depressed because I do not feel like being socially active and am reluctant to confide in people due to fear of rejection. That lack of social support through "friends" would relief my husband of energy he loses in supporting me mostly by himself. That in return makes me feel guilty because I am feel like I am overburdening him.I am upset with myself for not being a better Mom that smiles and laughs more. We are fixing to move again. At our next duty station I will seek professional help immediately. For now I am hoping to be able to cope through online support:-)

PHOTOS:

    T. has not shared any photos.

ROLES:

Living With It in Depression

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