Information and opinions on health from cgoehring78 at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/930/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/930/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/930/index http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/120131/losing-escape Sun, 19 Sep 2010 13:20:49 -0400 cgoehring78 Right now I feel like crawling into a tight circle and rocking back and forth with a blanket over me. I can't detach myself from the emotions around me and I'm filled with a tornado of guilt, worry, fear, anger, frustration, sadness, mental destruction and lashing out. But nothing comes out. So I sleep and sleep and hide and pretend everything is okay. But they know it's not. I take my meds. I see my docs. I get regular exercise. But I have... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/120131/losing-escape http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/117771/where-go-from-here Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:01:56 -0400 cgoehring78 Being in an unhealthy marriage is, well, unhealthy. I've known for some time that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship, but it is insidious and we are completely codependent, making it very hard to do anything about it. The fear I feel when he goes into one of his "pity me" modes is real. He has never struck me and I don't believe he ever would. But the silent abuse is maddening. I don't think he knows how it affects me because I am not... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/117771/where-go-from-here http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/117589/today-cry Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:37:19 -0400 cgoehring78 There are some days when I'd really like to cry. But I can't. I don't have the capacity. I feel the need and I want to, but it just won't happen. I can only blame the meds. It's sad to miss out on expressing sadness, and conversely happiness. So much of my life has been spent so high and so low that I'm now so carefully stabilized that I don't have the luxury of swings of any emotions. Believe me, I think it's better this way; I just think it's... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/117589/today-cry http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/25350/fighting-depression Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:27:00 -0400 cgoehring78 So I thought it was gone. The depression. I thought I had finally kicked it. But it's like sin. You can never let yourself get so cocky that you think you have conquered it. Sin is pervasive and so is depression. One simple pill too few and the tears come roaring down again. This is hard. I'm exhausted and the pdoc's assistant believes this exhaustion and weepiness may come from the grief I am experiencing due to losing a friend from... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/25350/fighting-depression http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/25238/thud Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:02:00 -0400 cgoehring78 It's been about a week and a half since I hit the butt-end of my recent mania. I miss it. I had nearly cleaned up my office and parts of my house and now I look at them with confusion. I couldn't begin to know where to start. I have bags of items to donate and I'm worrying about what might be in those bags and whether or not I should dig through them in case I might miss something that's in there...like one of my dog's... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/25238/thud http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/23825/summer-sad Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:23:00 -0400 cgoehring78  Spring is here, the grass has 'riz', I wonder where the flowers is? When I was young, this rhyme made me squeeze my eyes shut tight in delightful anticipation of spring. And if spring was coming then summer was coming. Summer meant school vacation, time with my family going camping to favorite places, especially Monument Valley. It also meant I could ride my Stingray bike, run with my dog Midnight, have slumber parties in... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/23825/summer-sad http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/21388/bipolar-state-mind Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:47:00 -0400 cgoehring78 I'm cheating here and using one of my recent message responses as a SharePost.  There will always be a struggle for the person who lives with a mental illness; it's not likely to be a struggle to win over the disease. Bipolar disease is treatable, but not curable. The same is true for Schizophrenia. Every day, each minute of each day that I am not otherwise occupied, I wonder to myself, "Will tomorrow be the day that my... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/21388/bipolar-state-mind http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/21220/brett-favre Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:05:00 -0500 cgoehring78 Brett Favre retired today. His contribution to the game of football has been tremendous. I enjoy watching football from time to time but I'm not a huge fan. I think Brett Favre is a classy guy and a great quarterback. But I watched his retirement press conference today in awe. This man is honest. He is straightforward, down-to-earth, no-holds-barred, Jenny-Get-The-Bucket honest. He simply does not want to play anymore. No excuses. He... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/21220/brett-favre http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/20532/spears-mental Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:58:00 -0500 cgoehring78 The moment that I heard Britney Spears had shaved off her hair I knew she had a mental illness of some sort. My guess was bipolar disorder, but that's only because I suffer from it and am most familiar with the ravages of its symptoms. Reporter Asra Q. Nomani wrote a special article to the Los Angeles Times on February 12 that recently ran in our local paper, The Boulder Daily Camera. ... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/20532/spears-mental http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/20054/ride-ups-high-low Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:36:00 -0500 cgoehring78 If you're afflicted with bipolar disorder, your life, your daily existence, is constantly being defined as either up or down, manic or depressed. It's such a stale and defining description. You're either up, down, or sometimes stable! (Unfortunately, I use this up and down metaphor too often when I don't have time to explain my disease. Maybe that's why my identity crisis is so strong...I identify too easily with... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/930/20054/ride-ups-high-low