Information and opinions on health from Belle at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/97783/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/97783/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/97783/index http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/33914/downward-spiral Tue, 15 Jul 2008 09:53:31 -0400 Belle I am my own worest enemy, I punish myself, destroy myself and make sure that I feel as much pain and hurt as I hink that I deserve or don't derserve for the illness I have and the losses that or hardships that I have caused myself or ohers. I hate myself for being bipolar hate that I  can't get control or a grip and I hate that I can't be loved and I push everyone who loves me away and I always test there love and I hate that... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/33914/downward-spiral http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/32510/thing-good Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:47:49 -0400 Belle A year ago I was in a good place, things turned ugly so fast I couldn't even though I wanted and meant to keep healthy. Hospitalized in Jan 08 and finally was put on a mood stablizer, a low dose untill April of 2008 when I stated seeing a in home case manager. Since then there has been bumps, but I am now on MEDS REGULARLY, still to have one more added, started seeing a psyc. doctor and will be doing an assesment for  out patient treatment... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/32510/thing-good http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/32509/leaves Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:20:19 -0400 Belle As he yells with anger he feels and states he's done everything for me. Cause he's still or was still there for me. I respond crying just cause your physically there doesn't mean you are there for me. That he hasn't and how if he would just read learn understand open up to my mental illness at least that would be a start. He wouldn't and won't. He refuses to understand or know or even attempt to learn what bipolar is cause it's a... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/32509/leaves http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/28338/friends-bipolar Tue, 20 May 2008 05:39:56 -0400 Belle I've read a lot of sharepost of how hard it is to live with or deal with someone who is bipolar and I what everyones says to support the friends and family of bipolar loved ones. Right now I feel it's so hard to deal with my friends and family because they aren't bipolar and no matter how hard I try to explain to them they don't get it. I feel in the last month I've gone backwards and am losing my will and mind, feel alone and want to... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/28338/friends-bipolar http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/25382/afraid-finding Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:48:00 -0400 Belle Trapped inside of me is someone I am afraid of. Why? I am not sure. My mind is a million thoughts and each of them has a thousand more. Who I am maybe who I am afraid of and the someone inside is the real me. I cannot remember and have long lost perspective and cannot keep track of anyone feeling to place it in a spot that is comfortable long enough to hold on too. Everything I feel that I thought I was that was so unique about me or that I... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/97783/25382/afraid-finding