Information and opinions on health from Wondering at HealthCentral.com. HealthCentral.com is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/999453/index http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/999453/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/profiles/c/999453/index http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/110264/momentum Tue, 27 Apr 2010 03:03:27 -0400 Wondering Well, I think I have a grasp on this feeling of needing to better myself. I have had a rush of emotions over the past few days. I have missed my old life and kind of got lost in that feeling. But now I am moving forward. Yes, my old life was grand. I was in the Air Force and had an amazing time and met so many people. But, that chapter has come to an end and I need to move on from that past life.   Tonight I posted my first assignment for... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/110264/momentum http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/110072/expecting Sat, 24 Apr 2010 15:20:38 -0400 Wondering Well I went out last night to a really fun place on the River Walk. I went with a bunch of Air Force people and my best friend. It was like a slap in the face. I realized last night that I am not over my Air Force past. I miss the friendships that I had and I miss those times where I got to be wild and crazy. Above all I miss the time when I wasn't sick.   I came home and cried my eyes out last night. That never would have happened... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/110072/expecting http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109814/tomorrow Wed, 21 Apr 2010 11:42:05 -0400 Wondering Yesterday I went to my appointment with my psychiatrist. It was terrible. She told me that I am setting my hopes to high and need to be more realistic. She said that I should just stick to the womens group that I go to instead of going to the PTSD group that I really want to go to. She said I wasn't ready for it. When I asked for one on one therapy again she told me that it was too intense and that she didn't feel I was ready for... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109814/tomorrow http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109688/begining Tue, 20 Apr 2010 02:13:08 -0400 Wondering So today was the first day of my new begining. I talked to my best friend about some of the issues that I need to deal with. I told her that I am going to meet with the head of psychiatry at the VA tomorrow. I am hoping that I will get approved for one on one therapy. If I do get approved then I am going to develop a game plan for the issues I have that I need to deal with.   The first issue that I want to deal with is my PTSD. I realized... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109688/begining http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109568/making Sun, 18 Apr 2010 21:01:34 -0400 Wondering I have been thinking a lot about my life over the past two weeks. I have decided to make changes, kind of like cleaning house. I want to move on from my illness and start a new life. Am I crazy for wanting this? The doctors told me I will always be sick. I will be in and out of the hospital for the rest of my life. Am I aiming to high to expect that once I work through my issues I can be free from my diagnosis? I am currently diagnosed with... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/109568/making http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/107359/food-thought Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:11:11 -0400 Wondering If you have read my previous posts you know that I got out of the hospital earlier this week. Along with several pep talks from the doctors I recieved several prescriptions. I've been taking my medications as prescribed, but yesterday I got to thinking. How many pills are too many? At what point do you stop being yourself and become the medication you are on?   I don't know what the normal number of pills people take is, but I now take 11... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/107359/food-thought http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/107127/happened Tue, 23 Mar 2010 18:25:15 -0400 Wondering Well, for those of you who have been reading my posts, you know that I have been worried about going back to the hospital. Much to my dismay it happened on Thursday. I went in for a regular psych appointment and ended up spending 5 days in the hospital. I had a breakdown after being up for almost 20 hours at the time of my appointment.   They changed some of my meds, increased a few and added some others. All in all I think it was good... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/107127/happened http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/106279/bad-time Sat, 13 Mar 2010 06:54:26 -0500 Wondering Well last night I hit a breaking point. The voices in my head got louder and told me to take all of the pills that I have in the cabinet. I was able to resist that and instead scratched my arm. I know I shouldn't have done that but it was the only way to make the voices stop.   What caused it? I think it was a combination of many things. One of the problems leading up to it was the fact that I have had less than 15 hours of sleep in the... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/106279/bad-time http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/104985/afraid Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:41:42 -0500 Wondering I've spent almost all of the past 3 years in and out of state hospitals, private hospitals, and as an inpatient at the V.A. hospital. Since October of last year I have been on a high. Now I am terrified that things are going to get bad again. The doctors have basically told me that I need to be prepared for the worst because eventually my mood will fail again.   I suffer from Major Deppressive Disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, PTSD, and... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/104985/afraid http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/49659/anyone-help-me Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:47:05 -0500 Wondering I was diagnosed with severe dysmorphic depression last year and haven't found any relief. I'm currently undergoing electroconvulsive therapy twice a week and even that isn't seeming to help. In the past month I have been contemplating suicide and have been scrathing my arms to the point of leaving scars. I need someone to talk to that can relate to my situation. I've tried to talk with my doctors but all they seem to say is that I've tried just... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/999453/49659/anyone-help-me