I just turned 65, I had my prostrate removed 7 months ago in March 2011, my doctor was the head of urology so I assumed I had the best surgeon available. After the operation he assured me that everything went textbook and I should expect excellent results. Unfortunately, here it is 7 months later, and I am still going through at least one and sometimes 2 pads a day. Also my urine has developed a very strong odor which I always worry about in company when the pad is near full. Interestingly, my lack of bladder control is just when I am walking, standing, in the act of standing and bending, or when I drink alcohol. While sitting there is very little "squirting" and while prone in bed, and sleeping through the night, there is no leakage at all, so I still remain optomistic, although, still suffering bladder control issues at all after 7 months is becoming at times a bit depressing. One suggestion is to make sure your pad is securely pinned to your underwear, I mistakenly depended entirely on the sticky backside, and one day I had the pad slip out the side of my underwear and down my pantleg while walking down the street. I was very embarrassed, but I just kept walking and didn't look around hoping no one would notice. Also very frustrating is the fact that I am now totally impotent, I have not had an erection in the past 7 months, not even noctrunal, and my penis has shrunk to the size of a child, just 2 or 3 inches, I used to be 10 inches, so you can imagine my level of frustration. I have a very beautiful 58 year old partner who luckily for me is very patient and understanding, and she can arouse me to the point with our heavy petting, that I can actually achieve a dry orgasm without an erection, I found it strange that all the physical sensation is there along with the mental arousal but I still can't achieve an erection, and now I have developed mental anxiety because I fear that she will eventually tire of this situation and being required to satisfy herself with just my practising "massaging" masturbation on her, and even though she continually reassures me, the anxiety remains. The bottom line is that if I had known what my post-op result would be, I would have given serious thought to forego the surgery. I think maybe I would prefer to live a shorter life with everything in working order, than as it is now, where I feel like I'm half a man.
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Surgery should be a last resort. There are many, many products available to contain leakage. Try: external catheters with leg bag, or the Afex system in the event you don't want to wear pads or diapers. Every type product has its drawbacks. Pads may need to be changed frequently, diapers are a wet mattress in your underwear, external catheters work very well but there is the inconvenience of taking it off and cleaning the bag at night, the Afex system works well especially under shorts for golf or other sports activities, and some like the Mcguire urinal but it too has drawbacks like putting it on and always the possibility of it slipping off, and clamps should only be used for a short while as it tends to cut off circulation. I use the external catheters with leg bag when wearing long pants and the Afex system when active with golf or tennis.
Living with incontinence is not the worst thing. Experiment with various solutions.
Tell me more about the two systems you were talking about with pictures if you can.