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Hi Joanie,   Your husband is not alone.  I had prostate surgery in Dec 08.  I have had many problems since, including incontinece and erectile dysfunction.  My relationship with my partner has worsen.  Unfortunately, she doesn't understand how having cancer and having your manhood taken by it can affect your physical, mental and emotional state.  I have talked to my doctors and they do not have any answers.  I am told to just be patient, while everything around me is falling apart.  I tried the anti-depresent drugs, but it seemed to only make things worst for me.  Your husband is lucky to have you by his side.  I feel that I am lucky to have my partner as well.  I only wish that there was more information available to help poeple like me and my partner, as well as others, gain a better understanding of what we are dealing with.  My best to you.   William