I had a radical prostatectomy in January of 97 and the shock on my psyche was horrible.  Few are ready for the changes waiting for the patient after surgery.  Loss of bladder control and erectile dysfunction change a man's life drastically.  It is strange that there is little after surgery psyche care.  The medical part was a success although I did have to go back for radiation therapy in January of 2003.  But it is the feeling of being alone with the physical problems, even with a spouse, that work on a man's mind.  Those who have answered your post already are correct, it takes real support from those near you.  It's been 13 years now and I'm back to normal but it has been a long uphill battle.  Life is short, so support your spouse as much as you can.