My husband (61) had successful prostate surgery 4 years ago. We had a normal sex life prior to the surgery and had been happily married for a long time. He now has ED and incontinence. He tried medication a couple of times and he said it gave him a killing headache. We now have oral relations about twice a year, which he seems to enjoy, but never initiates. He rarely participates in any physical contact with me and we no longer share a bedroom. I don't care about having sex the way we did before the surgery, but I just hate this platonic relationship we have been having and I want to encourage him to be more active with what we still can take pleasure in. He does not like to talk about it and I feel more and more isolated from him. I need advice on how to encourage him to be more affectionate even though he is embarrased by the side effects of the surgery.
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Q: How can I encourage my husband to have sex since he has ED and hates the pills?
There are several different medications on the market and your husband should be encouraged to try each of them (Levitra, Cialis, Viagra) as he may find one of them more favorable than the others. Some patients have had good success with the use of an aspirin along with the use of the oral agent and this may help prevent or decrease the headaches. Other alternatives may also be suitable for you husband such as drugs that can be injected directly into the penis, like Caverject. A surgical approach with a penile prosthesis may also be suitable. Lastly, you and your husband should consider counseling with a therapist who specializes in sexual dysfunction.
Hi epalm,
THanks for your question. Although we can't offer specific medical advice, I'm passing your question along to one of the doctors on our site to see if he has some ideas for you. We'll let you know when a response has been posted.
Thanks,
Dan
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